People reach out to me often about either themselves with cancer or family members or friends. I appreciate your trust in me to speak from the heart on this subject.

I am reminded often that when one person is affected by this disease, a whole community is hit. Cancer is like a tornado that whips its way through a community causing destruction everywhere.
When it comes to an end of treatment either by the individual surviving and thriving or passing, there is a lot of debris and emotions that have happened and now the community is out there looking together to see what damage has been done and will either rise above it all or may feel deep pain. Either way are very normal reactions to this disease and its impact.

Why I wrote my book was in part because of this. The impact that I saw for myself and my family was huge. I know I have a great support system around me but I am sure there were times, not said directly to me, but I knew people were thinking it… Will she live?
Some families I have spoken to have started creating memory boxes of their loved one. I get it. You want to ensure that their memory lives on.

Please be mindful though that this can occur to the patient like you have given up. It is not supportive to have someone treating you like you are dying or nearly dead when you are still alive and fighting!  It shouldn’t even have to be said but many don’t understand that unless they go through it themselves. Having cancer is not easy to go through and mindset and who you surround yourself with can be everything.

Think about it from the patient’s point of view

How would you like it if people started treating you like you will be dead tomorrow?

As the patient, you are already dealing with your mortality. You do not need others fears to fuel what you are going through and causing you to become more afraid. What you need is strength. Making what seems impossible now possible.

If you cannot be that for your family or friend who is going through it, you need to get your own support. Please do not put your fears and emotions on the patient. They need to stay positive and believe they can overcome.  There is lots of support out there for everyone and talking it through with someone other than the patient can be very helpful. It is always a scary and an emotional time for everyone. What is needed is love, belief to overcome and compassion.
Please know that your reactions and actions can get on the patient. Be kind, loving & supportive.

Seek out the support you need as well.  It is okay to not be okay and there are incredible resources out there to help you too!

If you are unsure where to look for these resources, please send me a message and I will be happy to support you to find them.

We are all in this together!

(Below photo taken during my chemotherapy treatment)