Category: Blog
When the Fear Comes Back Before the Cancer Does…

When the Fear Comes Back Before the Cancer Does…

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Living With the Worry of Recurrence

No one warns you about this chapter of the journey.

They prepare you for the diagnosis…kind of…by looking worried when they do your tests. You know something is up but what? You soon find out.
They brace you for treatment…kind of…by seeing an oncologist who throws words at you while you try to figure out what in life got you to this point.
They celebrate the bell, the scans, the “all clear.” And YOU celebrate them too because WOW, you are still alive after all of that!

What they don’t mention is the lingering fear that slips in after everyone else has gone home.

The worry of recurrence. The subtitles playing behind the life movie that nobody mentioned to turn on!

It doesn’t arrive with drama. It shows up quietly.
A weird ache. “Is it back?”
A random wave of exhaustion. “Is it back?”
A follow-up appointment sitting on your calendar like it pays rent. “Waiting is brutal…still!”

I remember thinking, Why am I still scared?
I did the chemo.
I showed up for the surgeries.
I survived the thing that was supposed to be the worst part.

Turns out, survival comes with an emotional aftertaste.

Here’s what no one puts on the pamphlet: cancer doesn’t just affect your body. It rewires your nervous system. Once you’ve lived in crisis mode, your brain becomes an overachiever. Every sensation becomes suspicious. Every quiet moment invites a “what if.”

And fear? Fear gets clever. It pretends it’s just being responsible. Checking in on things just to be safe.

Because left unchecked, it steals your joy in sensible shoes. It steals your perfect sunny afternoon walking the dog.  It steals your time with family and friends. It steals everything!

I spent a long time trying to stay positive through the fear. Smile harder. Be grateful louder. Pretend confidence would scare it away. Spoiler: fear does not respond to motivational quotes. Trust me, I tried!

What helped was something far less glamorous.

I stopped fighting it.  I stopped resisting what I had been through for the last 2 and a half years.

Instead, I acknowledged it.
“Yes, that happened.”
“Yes, that was terrifying.”
“Yes, my body remembers.”

And then I grounded myself in what is actually true, not what might be.

Right now, I am okay.
Right now, I am alive.
Right now, my body is not the enemy.

Living with the fear of recurrence isn’t about pretending it won’t happen. It’s about refusing to let a hypothetical future hijack today. It’s about choosing presence over panic, even when uncertainty taps you on the shoulder.

Some days, that looks like movement. Dancing myself back into trust.
Some days, it looks like rest. Real rest, not “earning it” rest.
Some days, it looks like laughing at something ridiculous and realizing I’m still here for the punchline.

And yes, some days fear still shows up. But it no longer gets to drive.  It is just the passenger in the backseat that every now and then tries to be the backseat driver and we all know how we feel about “those ones”!

If you’re living in this space, wondering if you’re doing survivorship “wrong,” let me be clear: you’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re not failing.

You’re adapting.

We don’t dance because the future is guaranteed.
We dance because the music is playing now.

And today, that’s more than enough.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If this resonates, you’re not alone.

In Dancing Through Diagnosis, I share what survivorship really looks like, the good, the messy, and the surprisingly funny moments no one prepares you for.

Available now on Amazon, Indigo and if you are reading this blog, you are on my site and you can find it here at www.tammygunn.com

Because healing doesn’t end when treatment does.  YOU are NOT alone!
Why Weighted Vests & Belts Are the Secret Weapon for Aging Like a Badass…

Why Weighted Vests & Belts Are the Secret Weapon for Aging Like a Badass…

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I was recently approached by this amazing Canadian company to learn more about the benefits of weighted wearables and I have learned that this REALLY IS a secret weapon to taking care of ones’ health.  Here is why…

Let’s be upfront and honest…Aging is a privilege and it also comes with a few surprises. Achy joints. Slower recovery. Random mystery sounds when you get out of a chair. And for many women (and men!) creeping into midlife and beyond, bone density decides to play a cruel game of limbo: How low can you go?  Me? Not very low anymore!

If you’re a woman on tamoxifen, you’ve probably already heard the warnings whispered like ghost stories around a campfire: osteopenia… osteoporosis… brittle bones. And the fun part? Many don’t realize bone loss can start early, especially through cancer treatment. And you do not have to have gone through cancer treatment to be facing this lovely part of getting older! But before you wrap yourself in bubble wrap and swear off all activities except crocheting (which, to be fair, is wildly underrated), let’s talk about a powerhouse solution that’s affordable, effective, and surprisingly fun:

Weighted vests and belts.

Yes. Those chunky little heroes? They’re game-changers. I have seriously fallen in love!

The Science-y Truth: Your Bones Need a Challenge

Bones aren’t passive sticks holding up your skin bag. (Such a fun way to describe being human!)  Our bones are living, always adapting, always responding to the load you place on them.
If you place more load (enter: weighted vest), they respond by saying:

“Oh, we’re doing THIS now? Fine. I’ll get stronger.”

This magic is called osteogenic loading, and it’s one of the best ways to keep your skeleton solid as you age. Walking, dancing, cleaning, doing stairs — all get a bone-boosting upgrade when you add a little safe, evenly-distributed weight.  And it is so easy that you don’t need to really do anything different in your day, other than throw on the vest or belt before you do your regular activities!

Benefits of wearing a weighted vest/or belt include:

  • Increased bone density

  • Stronger posture (hello superhero stance)

  • Better balance

  • Improved muscle tone

  • Higher calorie burn (without doing anything extra = blessed.)

  • Confidence boost because you feel like a warrior in disguise (I am not kidding! You will feel so good all over!)

Let’s Talk Weighted Gear & Tamoxifen: Your Bones Deserve Backup

Tamoxifen is a lifesaver but it can be a bone-density troublemaker for some people, especially premenopausal women. Even post-treatment, the risk of osteoporosis can be higher.  It is the little pill that decreases your chances of cancer recurring but like anything you take, it comes with side effects and here we are fighting to keep our bone health safe!

So what can help?

Regular weight-bearing movement + added load = bones staying dense, fierce, and fully employed.

A weighted vest or belt is like giving your bones a pep talk:
“Hey, don’t you dare shrink. We’ve got things to do.”

Every time I put mine on I feel like a Super Hero getting ready to take on the day! It is an amazing confidence boost!

Vests vs. Belts: Which One’s Your Style?

I mention both because I own both and I LOVE them both for different reasons so let me break down each of them for you…

Weighted Vests

Perfect for:

  • Walking

  • Hiking

  • Household chores

  • Teaching or taking Zumba (I see you!)

  • Everyday errands that double as stealth workouts

It sits comfortably, distribute weight evenly, and doesn’t shift around like that bra you know you should get rid of but wear all the time anyway!

Weighted Belts

Perfect for:

  • Dog walks

  • Running

  • Mobility work

  • People who want the benefits without looking like they’re wearing tactical gear

Belts are subtle but powerful like the quiet kid from high school who later becomes a CEO.

Next up…Okay But Why Power WearHouse?

Because — and I’m not exaggerating — they’re the best weighted vests and belts on the market.
Most weights out there?
• Too bulky
• Too bouncy
• Dig into your shoulders
• Or look like they were designed by someone who hates comfort…seriously….why would you wear something that is so uncomfortable when you have a choice?!

Power WearHouse gets it RIGHT!
Comfortable. Adjustable. Designed for real bodies doing real movement. And they actually look… good!

I’ve tested them. I’ve worn them. I’ve danced in them. I’ve walked my dog in them. I’ve lived my life in them. And I can confidently say:
Your future bones will thank you.

Here is MY Invitation to Level Up (With a Discount 😏)

If you’re ready to age with strength, sass, mobility, and bones that refuse to quit, here’s your moment.

👉🏼 Order your weighted vest or belt at:

powerwearhouse.com

Click the link above and use my code POWERWITHTAMMY for a sweet little discount because strong bones shouldn’t come with a big price tag.

My Final Thoughts:

You don’t need to overhaul your life.
You don’t need to join a gym.
You don’t need to turn into “that person” who talks about fitness at dinner parties.

Just add a vest or belt to what you’re already doing like walking the dog, climbing stairs, dancing in the kitchen, chasing the kids, or living your everyday magic.

A little weight today = a LOT more living tomorrow.

Your bones are ready.
Your future self is cheering.
And honestly? You’re going to look fantastic.

Don’t just take my word for it…EXPERIENCE it for YOURSELF!

Much love,

Tammy
When Healing Feels Heavy: My Life with Lymphedema

When Healing Feels Heavy: My Life with Lymphedema

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Nobody warned me that surviving cancer came with bonus features…

Scars? Expected.

Fatigue? Sure.

Random swelling that makes me feel like I have arm-wrestled the Pillsbury Doughboy and lost? Yeah, that one was not in the brochure.

Welcome to life with lymphedema! The unwanted gift that keeps on giving!

When I woke up after my bilateral mastectomy, I was greeted with the news that the surgeon had to take many of my lymph nodes from my right arm pit because they tested positive for cancer.  I knew this might happen but on the day of surgery they still were not clear if they would need to.  I had my mind set that they wouldn’t need to so this was a blow to my emotional state when they told me.  What it now meant was my lymph system used to move fluid around efficiently. Now it’s like, “Nope, I’m out. You handle it.” The result? One arm (and sometimes armpit) that swells, tightens, and throbs like one of those neon lights flickering in a window.

What It Feels Like (Spoiler: Not a Spa Day)

Imagine wearing an invisible blood-pressure cuff that never quite releases. Add in a pinch of heaviness, a dash of tingling, and the occasional “did-someone-stuff-a-tennis-ball-under-my-skin?” sensation. That’s lymphedema.

Most mornings, I wake up and my arm looks fine… almost normal. Other days, it feels like it’s been filled with wet sand overnight. If I lift it too long or skip my sleeve, I swear I can hear it puff up like a balloon.  You may not be able to see it because my arm so far doesn’t swell up as bad as many others do but I can feel it and it feels huge and uncomfortable.

Oh, and don’t get me started on how weather affects it. Humid days? Forget it. My arm swells faster than my hair in a rainstorm.

How I Deal with It (and Try Not to Lose My Mind)

Let’s get one thing straight: lymphedema isn’t something you cure. It’s something you manage …like a grumpy roommate who refuses to move out. But I’ve learned a few tricks to keep the peace.

  1. Compression Garments: My Not-So-Sexy Armor

Yes, I wear a compression sleeve. Sometimes a bra that feels like it was engineered by NASA. They’re not glamorous, but they work. You get used to it. Think of them like Spanx for your lymph system. Juzo.com has some of the most beautiful tattoo style prints that make compression sleeves a thing of fashion!

I’ve learned to pick fun colors and pretend like I’m auditioning for a superhero reboot: “Lympha-Woman: Defender of Circulation!”

  1. Massage and Manual Drainage

There’s a fancy name for it — Manual Lymphatic Drainage — which sounds like a plumbing service. But it’s basically gentle self-massage to help move fluid. I do it daily, whispering encouraging things to my arm like, “Come on, girl, let’s get things flowing. You can do it!”

  1. Movement That Doesn’t Make Me Swear

Exercise helps but not the “crush-it” kind. Think Zumba, walking, stretching, yoga, and anything that keeps the lymph fluid moving without overdoing it.
I’ve learned the hard way that pushing too far means puffing up later. So now I stop before my arm throws a tantrum.

  1. Hydration (and Fewer Salty Snacks, Sigh)

Turns out the more water I drink, the less my arm swells. Wild, right? I also try to limit salt and sugar. This is a tough one because I love a good salty snack!
But I’ll be real… if it’s movie night and there’s popcorn; I’m not measuring sodium content. I’ll just wear my sleeve, deal with the swelling and call it balance.

  1. Skin Care Is Non-Negotiable

Because my lymph system’s lazy, any cut or bug bite could turn into an infection. So, I baby my skin like it’s royalty. I never was one to be great at skincare before but now I am obsessed with moisturizer, gentle soap, and clean towels. Basically, I treat my arm and all of my skin better than anything.

  1. Rest and Elevation

Sometimes the best thing I can do is lie down and prop my arm up like it’s living its best queen life. It’s not glamorous, but hey, if my arm wants to relax on a pillow throne, so be it. It helps!

The Mental Weight No One Talks About

Physically, lymphedema is uncomfortable. But emotionally? It’s exhausting. It’s a daily reminder that even though I “beat cancer,” my body still carries the baggage. There are days I look at my swollen arm and think, Seriously? Haven’t we been through enough?

Then there are days I marvel at what my body still can do. It’s carried me through chemo, surgery, radiation, and now, this. It’s a little swollen, a little stubborn, but still showing up. Kind of like me!

I’ve learned to laugh about it when I can. I even gave my swollen side a nickname: The Diva. She acts up when I’m stressed, hates humidity, and demands attention. But when I care for her, she usually settles down.

What I Want Others to Know

If you’re dealing with lymphedema or love someone who is, know that this condition is both invisible and relentless. It’s not “just swelling.” It’s physical discomfort, body image frustration, and a lifelong maintenance plan. But it’s also survivorship. It’s resilience with a side of sarcasm.

And here’s the thing: I may have to manage this forever, but I refuse to let it manage me.

I dance. I write. I live. Some days I do it with grace; other days I do it with a swollen armpit and a bad attitude. But I do it! And that’s what matters.

My Final thought: Healing isn’t about looking perfect. It’s about learning to live fully even when one arm needs a little extra TLC and a custom sleeve.

When you see me out dancing with my compression gear on, don’t pity me. Just know I’m moving, sweating, and still very much living through the swell.

It is not easy. But it is do-able!
Wait!! Can You Break a Boob?

Wait!! Can You Break a Boob?

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This month marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month…as a survivor, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is really every month of the year.  I do have moments now where I forget what I went through and that usually only lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour.  Honestly, this is because the scars I have cannot be unseen.  For this month, I wanted to share one chapter from my book Dancing Through Diagnosis.  What more fitting than the night my life changed…

Chapter 1

OH HELLO-THAT’S NEW

July 7th, 2021

“Pour me a glass of wine. I will be right down. Just got
to shower!” I holler while shutting down my laptop and
running upstairs.
It was a Wednesday night and like every Wednesday
night before it, during the pandemic I was teaching an
online Zumba class followed by a yummy dinner with a
glass of wine and a movie with my husband. Even through
the pandemic I had continued to teach hot, sweaty, dance
your heart out Zumba classes, albeit online. But still going
strong five days a week!

After a decade plus of dancing five to six days a week
easily doing anywhere from four to seven hours a day, I
still cannot get enough! Not even a pandemic can stop me
from shaking what my momma gave me!
Only this night would change the trajectory of
everything; simply by towelling off after a shower.
“What is that?” I said to myself… or maybe out loud.
Probably out loud and it was more like “WTH?!”
As my towel brushed past the bottom of my right
breast, I couldn’t help noticing that something didn’t feel
right. Broken glass? It felt like broken glass. Is that possible?
Could I have broken my boob? Can you break a boob?

My mind began to swirl toward real questions then to
ones that were clearly insane and made no sense… and yet,
I asked them out loud… to myself… in the mirror.
Is this one bigger than the left?
It’s not itchy… should it be itchy?
Will lotion smooth out those glassy edges?
Nope… what is that??
Quickly, I finished drying off and got dressed. My mind
was still racing. In that moment, I KNEW something wasn’t
right, but it couldn’t be what my brain was now racing at
full speed ahead to… the C word. Noooooo…. I am way too
young for that!
No, you’re not. Forty-four is not too young.
Thanks brain! You always know how to make a girl feel
good and calm!
I ran downstairs to find my husband scrolling through
Netflix looking for our movie of the night.
“Give me your hand!” I said as I ran toward him with
great concern.
He gave me his hand and before he knew it, he was in
full doctor mode (and not the fun kind) feeling my breast.
“Do you feel that?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?”
“I am not a doctor, Tammy. You should get that checked.”
“Right?! I should. That is not normal right?”
“I think you need to get it checked.” He repeated the
words and continued to scroll through Netflix with his
other hand.
I needed him to feel what I felt and confirm for me
that I was not losing my mind. And that it needed to be
checked, even though he had already said it twice. I felt
like I couldn’t trust myself anymore because my brain was
already hurtling me into a coffin by tomorrow.

I was at the beginning of a mental hurricane that whips
its way through any rational thinking and had begun
planning my funeral.
Does this ever happen to you?
The brain takes over all common sense and suddenly
you are making mental lists of who gets what when you
die and wishing you hadn’t been so crazy when you were
younger. Of wanting to take back so much of what you had
done but, in all honesty, it got you to where you are today.
And beside the broken boob and needing a doctor, you
think your life has actually been pretty awesome. Just not
at the moment because you still have a broken boob….
Please tell me I am not alone in this!
That night, I called and left a message for my doctor.
The real one… The one who could help. Because with
Google only a click away, I would be making my own full
diagnosis if I couldn’t reach my REAL doctor soon!
The next day I did speak to my doctor, thankfully,
because my brain was still on fast forward. And my doctor
knows me well enough to know that if I am calling like this,
I am in panic mode about something.
Yup, everything felt like it was moving at the speed of
light and yet at a turtle’s speed to get answers!

 

That night changed everything in my life. Any cancer patient can tell you when and how they discovered it.  I wrote Dancing Through Diagnosis for all those on the journey and those supporting family and friends on the journey because I think we need to get really real about what this experience is like and learn about all we don’t know about going through cancer. I never thought in a million years it would be me writing about this, but here we are!  And maybe it had to be me so that the medical jargon gets left out. And maybe because I love to write in real talk with a sense of humor and that is what the world needs right now.

On Amazon the readers find the content inspiring, encouraging, and hopeful. They appreciate the humor, saying it’s witty and playful. Readers describe the book as an excellent read for patients, caregivers, and those facing challenging times. They find the writing style engaging, tender, witty, and clear. They also describe the story as authentic and an emotional journey that deepens empathy.

I guess it is true then if you read it on Amazon! 😉  All joking aside, I have seen how this book has positively impacted those who have read it. I hope you will too and share it with your family and friends.

Links to purchase Dancing Through Diagnosis: CLICK HERE for Canada 

CLICK HERE for USA
The Biggest Challenge I Danced Through was Not Breast Cancer…

The Biggest Challenge I Danced Through was Not Breast Cancer…

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One of the biggest adjustments in my life after cancer is not the cancer itself surprisingly but the lymphedema in my right arm from having my lymph nodes removed

Let us refresh on what exactly is Lymphedema?

Think of lymphedema like this:

The lymphatic system is basically the body’s sewer system.  While we go about our day it is quietly whisking away excess fluid, waste, bacteria and viruses. When it’s working properly, we don’t notice it at all.  In fact, I didn’t even understand it existed at all until I had part of it removed! When it’s not working… well, imagine our sink drain is clogged up with hair or food or something else nasty. The water (in this case, lymph fluid) has nowhere to go, so it starts pooling where it shouldn’t.

That’s lymphedema! A stubborn, unwanted pooling of fluid under your skin. Your limb puffs up like it’s a balloon-animal, but instead of being a cute giraffe or a poodle, you just end up with a swollen leg or arm.

Important Note: It’s not contagious, it’s certainly not glamorous, but it is persistent! Almost like that one guest who won’t leave the party even after you’ve put the lights on and started cleaning up.  Take a hint! It is time to gooooo!

This really is, in my opinion, one of the worst parts of having metastatic breast cancer.

I have been dealing with this for 3 years now and will for the rest of my life.  I am not complaining about it…well, some days I am if I am being honest.  Like when it is really swollen and even just wearing a t-shirt is the most annoying thing ever.

There are many things I can do to get it back under control such as lymphatic drainage massages either on myself or by a professional.  In this type of treatment, it is like mapping the fluid to the drainage ports in our body.  Slowly pushing the Jell-O like substance under the skin (aka-Lymph fluid) towards the groin and opposite armpit where the lymphatic system is still intact and can process all the waste.  I am sorry for the Jell-O analogy.  I know I can’t eat it anymore either after that visual. Blahh…. textures are now a thing for me!

When I first had to learn to manage my lymphedema it was noted that my right arm and hand were what was affected by the lymphedema.  Knowing this, I was put into a compression garment for my arm and hand.  It has been working great; however, in the last year I have noticed that the fluid is now being trapped in my shoulder and armpit as well as the scapula area.

Fun right? Not really!

Today I had an appointment with Cancer Rehabilitation.  Yes, that is a thing! And thank God it is!  The appointment consisted of my physiotherapist measuring the swelling in my arm.  The crazy part is my left arm is now smaller than my right, but my right arm is smaller than it was three years ago!

So, what does that even mean?

Well, it means that I am managing my lymphedema very well in my arm.  That is the good part!

The not great part is the uncomfortable pooling of fluid happening in my arm pit and my back area.  The good part about today is I learned there are options to support the movement of fluid in this area as well!   There are compression bras and padding that can be added to a bra to help compress and move the fluid.

I recommend we all learn as much as possible about our lymphatic system BEFORE we have to learn to manage it like I have. Here is a comprehensive list of things we can do to manage our lymphatic system:

Move Your Body (Daily)

  • Exercise is #1. Walking, dancing, yoga, rebounding, and swimming are great examples of all that help.
  • Think: movement = drainage.

Stay Hydrated

  • Lymph fluid is mostly water…. besides some of that Jell-O like texture. If you’re dehydrated, your system slows down like pouring molasses.
  • Aim for steady sips throughout the day and make your water interesting by adding cucumber, lemon or even basil!

Massage & Dry Brushing

  • Lymphatic massage can be a game-changer, especially if you’ve had surgery or radiation. You can do this yourself or with a professional.
  • Dry brushing (always brushing toward the heart) helps stimulate lymph flow and slough off dead skin.

Deep Breathing

  • You might think you do this, but I will guarantee that most of us do not!
  • Your diaphragm acts like a pump for the lymph system. Slow, deep belly breathing is simple but powerful.
  • Try a few minutes of breathing: inhale for 4, hold 7, exhale 8.

 Eat Clean, Anti-Inflammatory Foods

  • We all know in theory that junk food is bad for us and yet we do it! Now is the time to adjust the sails!
  • Go heavy on veggies, berries, leafy greens, and omega-3s.
  • Avoid processed junk and too much salt, which can make your body hang onto fluid. Sorry salt! I have loved you for too long!

Sweat It Out

  • Saunas, steam rooms, hot yoga are all activities that encourage sweating, which supports detox.
  • Just remember to rehydrate like a champ afterward.  What goes out, you need to replenish back in!

Sleep & Stress Management

  • Poor sleep and chronic stress both throw your lymph system off. Trust me! I have experienced this one firsthand and it is no fun at all!
  • Restorative sleep and stress-reducing practices (meditation, journaling, nature time) keep your immune and drainage systems in sync.

There you have it! Some great ways to support that beautiful system that keeps our bodies healthy and our immune system happy! I hope you never have to know what life is like to live with a broken-down lymphatic system but know that if you ever do, I have you covered!
This Girl Is On Fire (Part II) The Extinguisher

This Girl Is On Fire (Part II) The Extinguisher

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Well, here we are, one month later and I have left you hanging in a hot sweat wondering why you are having that hot flash! Sorry about that, my marketing team tells me that I can’t ramble on too much in one month.  They say that blogs are meant to be 700-1000 words. I bet they have never experienced a hot flash and needed relief!  They are right though, I could really go on and on about this topic. That is why I have broken it up into a two part series to keep you engaged and me coachable to the process of blogging!

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s dive in, shall we?!

What is triggering that nasty “burning you up from the inside out” hot flashes?

To be honest, there are quite a few things that can trigger them unfortunately and women respond differently to certain triggers.  There are some though that are common for us all.  The most irritating thing, in my opinion, is that at one time your body was totally fine and welcoming to all these things.  In fact, some may have been your favorite thing ever!

Here is a Top 10 list I have gathered in no particular order:

  1. Heat – Hot weather, saunas, warm rooms, or even too many blankets can bring on a flash faster than you can say “menopause.”
  2. Spicy foods – Delicious, yes. But your body might treat that jalapeño like a flamethrower. I am a HUGE FAN of spicy food which makes this so disappointing and sometimes I just fight my way through the hot flash and tell myself I am enjoying it!
  3. Caffeine – Your beloved coffee or energy drink can make your internal thermostat glitch. This one I switched to mushroom coffee to deal with and as gross as that might sound, it tastes EXACTLY like coffee! I will share more about this another day!
  4. Alcohol – Especially red wine. What is crazy about this is your Doctor will tell you that if you have any alcohol your best option is red wine for health reasons and yet it can make you feel like you stepped on hot coals on first sip!
  5. Stress or anxiety – Emotional surges often lead to physical ones. Fun, right?
  6. Tight clothing – Restrictive clothes can trap heat and make your body rebel. This year I have taken on being in my flowy dress phase of life to combat this.
  7. Smoking – Not only unhealthy overall but also a notorious hot flash enhancer.
  8. Sugar or high-carb meals – Can spike insulin and mess with thermoregulation. Great! Not even a chocolate bar can help you out of this hot mess!
  9. Exercise (right before bed) – Yes, it’s good for you, but close to bedtime it may rev up your engine too much. Besides, who wants to work out right before bed? Not this girl!
  10. Hot drinks – Even tea or soup can be a sneaky trigger, especially in a warm environment. This one I find though could go either way!

There you have it!  If you avoid all of these things you may be able to reduce or eliminate your hot flashes.  You may also lead the most boring life! Unless you are someone who knows you can embrace giving up all of this and find new happiness living in the Arctic, eating bland food, while sipping on water, meditating in a baggy dress (and cotton underwear) while reading a book before bed.

Okay, all joking aside, you do not have to give all of this up. You just need to figure out what it is for you that sets off your hot flash.  It is a lot of trial and error to get to the point of knowing what your triggers are but if you keep at it, you will find relief.  I promise you!

Lastly, I hear people say that aging sucks but I like to think that the alternative to aging is worse.  Being six feet under! We have to find ways to embrace these new stages in life and remind ourselves that not all get to age, so even this is a privilege.  It is a hot and sweaty burning you up privilege but a privilege all the same! The more we talk about these topics the more we can see we are not alone and we have community to reach out to.

Let me ask you, what would you like me to blog about next?

Send me an email and let me know!

Until then, stay COOL my friends!

Much love,

Tammy

 

 
This Girl is on Fire!

This Girl is on Fire!

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This GIRL IS ON FIRE! This girl is on fireeee…

I recently saw my great niece at six years old stand up on stage and belt out this song in one of the most powerful voices I have ever heard for a six-year-old.  She shocked me to the point I sat there in tears listening to this beautiful young girl giving it her all and I was so moved.  She was a girl on FIRE and the flames were burning up that stage with her awesomeness!

The funny part was the next day when my post menopause hot flashes came on, all I could hear was her singing THIS GIRL IS ON FIREEEE, THIS IS GIRL ON FIREEEEE and you know what…I was! I was burning up from the inside out and now that song had a whole new meaning for me.

The intensity of a hot flash can be like someone lit a match under your skin and as the flames begin to grow, so does your internal heat to the point you feel like you may self combust. It is intense and I apologize to every woman who tried to warn me about this as I would say “Oh, I will love it! I love the heat!”  Nope! I DO NOT love this! It is a raging inferno that turns on and off like a water tap!

So, what is a hot flash and why do we get them at a certain point in our lives?

I am so glad you asked! Let me explain…a hot flash is a sudden onset of intense heat.  This is your bodies way of telling you that your hormones are going on a vacation and may not be coming back!

The heat is just one part of it though. The hot flash is often joined by a flushed or red face and your eyeballs may feel like they are sweating…not crying…SWEATING! In fact, your whole body may feel like it is sweating, and your heart may begin beating as if you just completed a marathon.  Because your body is being so dramatic, afterwards it doesn’t know what to do so you may experience chills.  I am the lucky benefactor of ALL these symptoms, so I promise you I am speaking from experience.  Which may make all that I wrote here a bit scarier.  Sorry about that but you deserve the truth! Warts and all!

Let’s move on to WHY on earth we have them.

 Hot flashes commonly occur because of hormonal changes. Particularly caused by a drop in estrogen.  There are three stages in life that this can happen for women:

  1. Perimenopause (which is the time in life where you may feel your emotions are going crazy and something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you, but I get it!)
  2. Menopause (which means you have gone without a period for 12 months…which in my opinion is not a bad thing!)
  3. Post-menopause (which is still no period and you’re still dealing with the aftermath of the first two I mentioned)

When estrogen in our bodies decide to take that long vacation to sunny Aruba, our body’s thermostat notices that something is missing.  When the brain makes the connection that Estrogen is gone (or not totally gone but wants to leave) it screams out to the rest of the body “Hey! Did somebody turn the heat up? Where did Estrogen go?” This then confuses the body because it doesn’t remember doing that but will take the cue and turn on the cooling system which includes sweating, dilating blood vessels and then triggering a full-body heat wave because like my grandpa always told me…” On a hot day, drink something hot and you will cool down.”  I never understood this logic, but it always worked!

FUN FACT: When I got breast cancer at 44 years old, I was just at the cusp of starting my perimenopause era.  Because my cancer is estrogen driven the oncologist needed to put me on a drug to drastically lower my bodies estrogen immediately.  This meant that I went from “Oh, I am sweaty and a little emotional today…hmmm” to “DEAR LORD what new hell of fire and fury have I walked into?! I AM BURNING UP and I think it’s best if you just walk away!!”

The joys of hot flashes are very few.  The only time they have come in handy for me was when I was outside in a good Canadian winter and was cold.  The sudden onset of the hot flash was appreciated in the moment but then the after chills wrecked the whole experience.

The other good thing about all of this and I am always looking for the good, in my opinion, is when the period stops.  I appreciate not having to count the days until my cycle starts or needing to carry supplies on me all the time or being worried about wearing white pants.  Actually, I still worry about wearing white pants but that is because I am a spiller and those pants most likely will not be white by the end of the day no matter what my cycle does. A glass of red wine or an ice cream cone can make just as much mess I have learned.

OOH! And another fun fact ladies, MEN can get hot flashes too! It is usually due to a medical treatment they are receiving that affects their testosterone levels like for prostate cancer. (NOT fun and in no way am I celebrating they must go through that. I share this with you though so that we don’t assume it’s only us ladies that get to experience the “joy” of a hot flash!)

There you have it, this is what it is and why we get them! Not necessarily enjoyable but simple right?!

In my next blog, I will share with you what can trigger the hot flash and what you can do to cool down besides jumping in a snowbank or an ice bath!

Stay tuned because THIS GIRL IS ON FIREEEEEE!

 
That ONE Thing

That ONE Thing

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Well, here we are… another month of 2025 nearly in the rearview. I blinked and somehow we skipped half the year. As I write this, it’s a Monday morning and finally the sun is out after what felt like three weeks of straight  gloom.

I’m someone who’s very affected by the weather. On grey days, I basically morph into a blanket-wrapped gremlin with brain fog, a hint of nausea, and the motivation of a potato. I clean a lot. (Don’t ask why.  I am thinking it’s my coping mechanism.) But the second the sun shows up? I’m ready to Zumba through the day. Picture me, The Sound of Music-style, arms outstretched, sprinting up a hill, trying to hug the sun. Yes, my imagination is dramatic and most times plays out in a musical format.

Today the sun is shining, I feel like writing, and suddenly, everything feels possible. Winning energy is everywhere. Well, almost everywhere except for the Dallas Stars. GO OILERS! (Had to say it!)

But here’s the real kicker: it’s wild how one simple thing, like the weather, can completely shift how you feel, think, and move through your day. That one thing can really be anything: a diagnosis, a job loss, a text message, finding out you’re pregnant, or even running into someone you didn’t expect to see at the grocery store (while wearing Crocs and yesterday’s mascara). Whatever it is, it has the power to spiral us into joy, panic, grief, laughter. Sometimes all at once which really makes us look sane right?!

But how you respond to that one thing doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else. It makes you human.

Let’s be real… life didn’t come with a manual or mathematical formula. There’s no equation that says, “If you just do this, everything will turn out perfect.” Unless I missed that class in high school which, to be fair, is totally possible.  Pam, if you are reading this, you know right now we are riding around in your car listening to the Cranberries and buying snackwiches at KFC!  See, completely possible I, nor Pam, was in math class that day. But I digress.

The point is, life just happens. In the form of weather, friends, family drama, pop quizzes, job loss, medical news. You name it. That is life! And our interpretation of those events becomes the lens through which we survive. For me, it was cancer that flipped everything upside down. Suddenly, all the little things I used to stress about? Poof! They all became background noise. The stuff that truly mattered finally took center stage.

But what about when everything feels like the big thing?

Excellent question, Tammy. Thanks for asking.

The answer? It’s all about perspective. What’s massive to me might not register on your radar. And what feels like a blip to me could be someone else’s mountain. That’s where the most important life lesson of all comes in. Are you ready for it?

BE KIND TO EVERYONE.

Because everyone’s going through something. Everyone has their “one thing.” Maybe just today, maybe this year, maybe for the past decade. We’re all navigating our own stuff, doing our best, and sometimes just holding it together with sheer willpower, humor and a dash of crazy behaviour.

So whether the sun’s out or hiding, whether you’re dancing on a hill or curled up on the couch, remember: perspective matters. Kindness matters. And you, dear reader, are doing just fine.

YOU GOT THIS! And I got you!

Let’s Talk About It

What’s your “one thing” right now? How do you shift your perspective when the clouds roll in (literally or figuratively)? I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment or send a message. Let’s remind each other that we’re not alone in the wild ride that is life.
Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

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Ya know what? I am not sorry for how I’ve lived my life. There! I said it!

Let’s get that out of the way early. I’m done sugarcoating it. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve misread the room. I’ve said the wrong thing, at the wrong time, with the wrong tone more than once. Then stood in the echo chamber of my own mind, torturing myself with the replay.  Ugh…Have  you ever done this?  But here’s the thing: I own it. I clean it up. I do the work.

So why do I still stress in the background about what other people think?

I’ve been chewing on this for a while (and by “chewing,” I mean gnawing on it like it’s the last piece of beef jerky on a deserted island). And all I’ve really come up with is I’m human. It’s what we do. Or at least, it’s what I do.  It seems almost too simple.

Maybe this isn’t your thing. Maybe you don’t spiral after conflict or stew in a stew of second-guessing. Maybe your flavor of internal chaos looks more like hiding out, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, or perfectionism. I don’t know your exact brand of self-sabotage but I’m willing to bet you’ve got something too!

But back to me for a second, shall we…

I genuinely try to live my life as a decent human being. I aim to help others, to lift people up, to be kind. I don’t always get it right. When I screw up and I will tell you right now that I for sure do…I take full responsibility. I acknowledge it. I apologize when necessary. I check in with whoever was affected and ask, “What can I do to make this right?”

Sounds healthy, right?  Should be done and over with!

But here’s the twist: I still beat myself up about it. I wear it. I wear my guilt and shame like a brand-new pair of stiff shoes. You can see them, they don’t fit right, and they make me walk funny. They blister my toes and heels. They slow me down. And yet, I keep putting them on. A glutton for punishment, I guess!

That’s when it hit me: I’ve internalized the idea that doing something wrong = being wrong. And even when I’ve made amends, some part of me latches onto the belief that I’m not a good person. It’s like this weird addiction to guilt.

“Hey, you messed up! Let’s hold onto that forever! It will be fun!”  NOT!!!

Why is that?

Because there’s a part of me that needs proof that I’m flawed, that I’m not enough, that I should stay small and quiet and not take up too much space. I can see that I have lived with this my entire life! And what better proof than a mistake I’ve already cleaned up but can still punish myself for?  Welcome to the Struggle Party—table for one.

And here’s where it gets serious: all this internalizing? This energy-sapping shame spiral? It doesn’t just stay in my mind. It shows up in my body. It morphs into stress, inflammation, and disease. I’m not just speaking metaphorically. I’m speaking from experience. Chronic guilt wears down the body like it wears down the soul.

The truth is we are made up of energy. Every thought, every feeling, every moment we give away to regret or fear, it takes a toll. And when I give my energy over to the past or to someone else’s opinion, I’m draining the reserves I need to be well, to heal, to thrive.

So, here’s the hard truth: knowing all this, hasn’t magically stopped me from doing it. But here’s the shift I see now. I name it when it’s happening. I can call out the voice in my head that says, “You’re bad” and respond with, “No, I’m just human. And I’m still growing.”  And doing that repeatedly because sometimes I don’t hear myself the first time.

Also, this isn’t a story about having it all figured out. It’s a story about catching myself mid-shame-spiral and saying, not today Tammy. It’s about reclaiming my energy, one messy moment at a time. And it’s about choosing to believe on the good days and the garbage days that I don’t need to apologize for being human.

So yeah, I’m not sorry. Not anymore.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be either.

Much love,

Tammy
The Mental Weight of Surviving: Cancer’s Invisible Aftershock

The Mental Weight of Surviving: Cancer’s Invisible Aftershock

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Let’s Talk About Breasts Baby…Let’s Talk About You and Me…Let’s Talk About All the good things and the bad things they could be…Let’s talk about breasts…

I can’t help but write while singing along in my head to Salt & Peppers hit song Let’s Talk about sex…

Yes, this is the way my brain operates day in and day out.  And now you are privy to just a taste of what goes on between my ears. This is the “good stuff!”

YOU are welcome my friend!

But it wasn’t always like this. Or perhaps a little bit but there was a time where all that went on between my ears was shear panic that I may die.  Like the thoughts of once diagnosed, the next day I would be dead and then a spiral to follow included my family having to deal with my funeral arrangements.

I know that all moved very quickly to death and funerals. I would assert though, that I am not the only person who has had that reaction when diagnosed with cancer.  The mind is a very powerful thing and like superpowers can be used for good or evil, so can our thoughts.

Mental health during a diagnosis is crucial and sometimes overlooked.  We just assume that first and foremost we need to take care of our physical body. Which is true. However, our mental state can often be the source of much destruction that will affect our overall being long term.

Women and men who go through a cancer diagnosis often talk about it as leaving a lasting PTSD type impact on their lives.  While going through it I felt like everyday I was swimming in the deep end of the pool and to be honest, I am not a great swimmer.  Every now and then I would go under water and come up gasping for air.

One of the even bigger issues came after all that deep water swimming and I hit land. Or better said, they told me my treatment was done, and they were unleashing me back into the world after years of being poked and prodded at I was left with this sense of “are you sure? What if it comes back? How will I know? What do I do now?” These questions took over the inner workings of my mind and left me fluttering without a paddle and now I was in the ocean!

There are a lot of analogies today I see.  Bear with me!

My experience was that there is not a lot of initial information shared with you once you are done all the treatment and seeking out support is crucial.  When the doctors and hospitals are done with you it’s kind of like they throw a mini celebration that you have completed everything. In the moment you too have your party hat on and are so thrilled that you did it! But then the dancing and party music shuts off. You take your party hat off and the next stage of your diagnosis sets in.

The future unknown.

A cancer diagnosis doesn’t end when treatment ends. In fact, I believe it has left me with this new sense of not really knowing who I am.  I am now in this new body that is navigating what I can and cannot do anymore.  I am constantly assessing how I am physically feeling and doing my best to not let the thoughts of reoccurrence come rumbling in.

Everyday, there is work to be done to remind myself that I am awesome, healthy and doing okay.  Mainly I must deal with these thoughts at 3 or 4 AM.  You know, primetime between the ears for all suspense thriller dramas and viewing pleasure!  The mind is a cruel movie sometimes!

Then the question then becomes “How do I support my mental health?”

Great question Tammy, I never thought you would ask! To be honest it has been a trial-and-error kind of phenomenon.  There is no one right way to deal with mental health and every person is responsible for finding what works for them.

For myself, I have taken a few different approaches to my mental health and here is my list in no particular order:

  1. Learning to breathe deeply and focus my intentions on breathing deeply. Sounds simple.  It is not and takes lots of practice day in and day out.
  2. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Find a great CBT doctor to support you in learning about our thoughts and how we spiral and how to control it.
  3. Get a Cancer Coach. I didn’t even know this existed at first but there are programs like Wellspring out there that have people who have gone through cancer and are trained to support others going through it to support you after all your treatment is done.
  4. Landmark Worldwide. I took these courses long before I was ever diagnosed. They provided me with a foundation to bring myself back to “what’s so” when my mind would go off.  When I completed all my treatment, I reviewed the course again and it supported me in getting complete with all that had happened.

When you hear that it takes a village to support one person, it is true.  We also all know that it doesn’t take a cancer diagnosis for any of us to know the importance of taking care of our mental heath and if I am being honest, we all need to take care of it now more than ever.  Whether it be a disease you are dealing with or just dealing with what is going on in our world today, it can all be really overwhelming.

Breast cancer taught me to slow down. Appreciate life and not be so wrapped up in what I couldn’t change.  It taught me that I can deal with anything and be okay.  It taught me that I am stronger than I thought.  It also taught me that what goes on between my ears can be both positive or negative within split seconds and there is support out there to guide me through the negative.

If you need support, reach out. You don’t have to do this alone.

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Dancing Through Diagnosis Tammy Gunn Breast Cancer Survivor Memoir