breast cancer awareness

Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

By tammyg | April 25, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

Ya know what? I am not sorry for how I’ve lived my life. There! I said it!

Let’s get that out of the way early. I’m done sugarcoating it. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve misread the room. I’ve said the wrong thing, at the wrong time, with the wrong tone more than once. Then stood in the echo chamber of my own mind, torturing myself with the replay. Ugh…Have you ever done this? But here’s the thing: I own it. I clean it up. I do the work.

So why do I still stress in the background about what other people think?

I’ve been chewing on this for a while (and by “chewing,” I mean gnawing on it like it’s the last piece of beef jerky on a deserted island). And all I’ve really come up with is I’m human. It’s what we do. Or at least, it’s what I do. It seems almost too simple.

Maybe this isn’t your thing. Maybe you don’t spiral after conflict or stew in a stew of second-guessing. Maybe your flavor of internal chaos looks more like hiding out, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, or perfectionism. I don’t know your exact brand of self-sabotage but I’m willing to bet you’ve got something too!

But back to me for a second, shall we…

I genuinely try to live my life as a decent human being. I aim to help others, to lift people up, to be kind. I don’t always get it right. When I screw up and I will tell you right now that I for sure do…I take full responsibility. I acknowledge it. I apologize when necessary. I check in with whoever was affected and ask, “What can I do to make this right?”

Sounds healthy, right? Should be done and over with!

But here’s the twist: I still beat myself up about it. I wear it. I wear my guilt and shame like a brand-new pair of stiff shoes. You can see them, they don’t fit right, and they make me walk funny. They blister my toes and heels. They slow me down. And yet, I keep putting them on. A glutton for punishment, I guess!

That’s when it hit me: I’ve internalized the idea that doing something wrong = being wrong. And even when I’ve made amends, some part of me latches onto the belief that I’m not a good person. It’s like this weird addiction to guilt.

“Hey, you messed up! Let’s hold onto that forever! It will be fun!” NOT!!!

Why is that?

Because there’s a part of me that needs proof that I’m flawed, that I’m not enough, that I should stay small and quiet and not take up too much space. I can see that I have lived with this my entire life! And what better proof than a mistake I’ve already cleaned up but can still punish myself for? Welcome to the Struggle Party—table for one.

And here’s where it gets serious: all this internalizing? This energy-sapping shame spiral? It doesn’t just stay in my mind. It shows up in my body. It morphs into stress, inflammation, and disease. I’m not just speaking metaphorically. I’m speaking from experience. Chronic guilt wears down the body like it wears down the soul.

The truth is we are made up of energy. Every thought, every feeling, every moment we give away to regret or fear, it takes a toll. And when I give my energy over to the past or to someone else’s opinion, I’m draining the reserves I need to be well, to heal, to thrive.

So, here’s the hard truth: knowing all this, hasn’t magically stopped me from doing it. But here’s the shift I see now. I name it when it’s happening. I can call out the voice in my head that says, “You’re bad” and respond with, “No, I’m just human. And I’m still growing.” And doing that repeatedly because sometimes I don’t hear myself the first time.

Also, this isn’t a story about having it all figured out. It’s a story about catching myself mid-shame-spiral and saying, not today Tammy. It’s about reclaiming my energy, one messy moment at a time. And it’s about choosing to believe on the good days and the garbage days that I don’t need to apologize for being human.

So yeah, I’m not sorry. Not anymore.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be either.

Much love,

Tammy

The Mental Weight of Surviving: Cancer’s Invisible Aftershock

By tammyg | March 25, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

Let’s Talk About Breasts Baby…Let’s Talk About You and Me…Let’s Talk About All the good things and the bad things they could be…Let’s talk about breasts…

I can’t help but write while singing along in my head to Salt & Peppers hit song Let’s Talk about sex…

Yes, this is the way my brain operates day in and day out. And now you are privy to just a taste of what goes on between my ears. This is the “good stuff!”

YOU are welcome my friend!

But it wasn’t always like this. Or perhaps a little bit but there was a time where all that went on between my ears was shear panic that I may die. Like the thoughts of once diagnosed, the next day I would be dead and then a spiral to follow included my family having to deal with my funeral arrangements.

I know that all moved very quickly to death and funerals. I would assert though, that I am not the only person who has had that reaction when diagnosed with cancer. The mind is a very powerful thing and like superpowers can be used for good or evil, so can our thoughts.

Mental health during a diagnosis is crucial and sometimes overlooked. We just assume that first and foremost we need to take care of our physical body. Which is true. However, our mental state can often be the source of much destruction that will affect our overall being long term.

Women and men who go through a cancer diagnosis often talk about it as leaving a lasting PTSD type impact on their lives. While going through it I felt like everyday I was swimming in the deep end of the pool and to be honest, I am not a great swimmer. Every now and then I would go under water and come up gasping for air.

One of the even bigger issues came after all that deep water swimming and I hit land. Or better said, they told me my treatment was done, and they were unleashing me back into the world after years of being poked and prodded at I was left with this sense of “are you sure? What if it comes back? How will I know? What do I do now?” These questions took over the inner workings of my mind and left me fluttering without a paddle and now I was in the ocean!

There are a lot of analogies today I see. Bear with me!

My experience was that there is not a lot of initial information shared with you once you are done all the treatment and seeking out support is crucial. When the doctors and hospitals are done with you it’s kind of like they throw a mini celebration that you have completed everything. In the moment you too have your party hat on and are so thrilled that you did it! But then the dancing and party music shuts off. You take your party hat off and the next stage of your diagnosis sets in.

The future unknown.

A cancer diagnosis doesn’t end when treatment ends. In fact, I believe it has left me with this new sense of not really knowing who I am. I am now in this new body that is navigating what I can and cannot do anymore. I am constantly assessing how I am physically feeling and doing my best to not let the thoughts of reoccurrence come rumbling in.

Everyday, there is work to be done to remind myself that I am awesome, healthy and doing okay. Mainly I must deal with these thoughts at 3 or 4 AM. You know, primetime between the ears for all suspense thriller dramas and viewing pleasure! The mind is a cruel movie sometimes!

Then the question then becomes “How do I support my mental health?”

Great question Tammy, I never thought you would ask! To be honest it has been a trial-and-error kind of phenomenon. There is no one right way to deal with mental health and every person is responsible for finding what works for them.

For myself, I have taken a few different approaches to my mental health and here is my list in no particular order:

Learning to breathe deeply and focus my intentions on breathing deeply. Sounds simple. It is not and takes lots of practice day in and day out.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Find a great CBT doctor to support you in learning about our thoughts and how we spiral and how to control it.
Get a Cancer Coach. I didn’t even know this existed at first but there are programs like Wellspring out there that have people who have gone through cancer and are trained to support others going through it to support you after all your treatment is done.
Landmark Worldwide. I took these courses long before I was ever diagnosed. They provided me with a foundation to bring myself back to “what’s so” when my mind would go off. When I completed all my treatment, I reviewed the course again and it supported me in getting complete with all that had happened.

When you hear that it takes a village to support one person, it is true. We also all know that it doesn’t take a cancer diagnosis for any of us to know the importance of taking care of our mental heath and if I am being honest, we all need to take care of it now more than ever. Whether it be a disease you are dealing with or just dealing with what is going on in our world today, it can all be really overwhelming.

Breast cancer taught me to slow down. Appreciate life and not be so wrapped up in what I couldn’t change. It taught me that I can deal with anything and be okay. It taught me that I am stronger than I thought. It also taught me that what goes on between my ears can be both positive or negative within split seconds and there is support out there to guide me through the negative.

If you need support, reach out. You don’t have to do this alone.

Join my community on Facebook and/or Instagram!

Boobs, Bumps, and Being Your Own Super Hero: The Importance of Self-Checks

By tammyg | February 25, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

As the month of LOVE is coming to an end, I always wonder if all the ladies have given some love to themselves before anyone else? I know you are wondering where I am going with this…

Let’s talk about your breasts of course!

Whether you call them boobs, tatas, the twins, or whatever creative name you have for them (please send me what you call them!) these body parts deserve some attention beyond bra shopping and awkward mammogram conversations. And no, I’m not saying you need to obsess over them in the mirror every day (unless that’s your thing, seriously, no judgment).

But a monthly breast self-check? That’s a game-changer that wasn’t on my radar or even knew how to do until it was essentially too late! My self-check that saved my life was towelling off in the shower. How crazy is that?!

As a breast cancer survivor, I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to know your body. Self-checks are a powerful, proactive way to detect any unusual changes early. Early detection saves lives, and trust me, you want to catch anything suspicious before it throws an unwelcome party in your body. Like when my boob presented a lump that felt like broken glass!

Why Bother with Self-Checks? Can’t my Doctor do it?

Because you know your body better than anyone. That’s right! Even better than your doctor, your partner, and definitely better than Google (which, let’s be honest, will try to convince you that a mosquito bite is a rare disease). Self-checks help you get familiar with how your breasts normal look and feel, so if something changes, you’ll be the first to know.

How to Perform a Breast Self-Check Like a Pro

Here is what I learned:

Step 1: Set a Reminder
Pick a date each month (around the same time in your menstrual cycle if you still got it). No period? No problem, just choose a day that’s easy to remember. Maybe sync it with when you pay bills or, the day before a date night, or better yet, when you schedule a self-care night. Which is the BEST night, and we should all be having them! (More about that later!)

Step 2: Check Yourself Out in the Mirror
Stand in front of a mirror with your hands on your hips and look for any visible changes in shape, size, or symmetry. Raise your arms and see if anything looks off. Dimpling, puckering, or any unexpected redness? Take note. Snap a pic if you like to put in your “Boob” album on your phone. If someone steals your phone, they will be in for a big surprise…not quite what they thought they would find!

Step 3: Get Handsy in the Shower
With your fingers flat and together, move in small circles from the outside of your breast to the center. Cover the entire breast and don’t forget the armpit area (yep, breast tissue extends there too). Check for any lumps, thickening, or tenderness.

Step 4: Lie Down and Repeat
Gravity helps spread the breast tissue evenly, making it easier to feel any changes. Use the same circular motions with light, medium, and firm pressure. Don’t rush, this is your health, not a speed round. Take time to connect and listen to your body!

Step 5: Keep a Record
If you notice anything unusual like a lump, discharge, or persistent pain, don’t panic. I know that is easier said than done and you may be tempted to put your findings into Google, but I assure you, Google will inform you that you are immediately dying, and it becomes very stressful very quickly! The truth is, most lumps are benign, and it’s always best to check with your doctor. Keeping notes and pictures can help you track any changes over time.

When to Call the Doctor

If something feels different and doesn’t go away after a few weeks, make an appointment. Trust your instincts. Your doctor won’t think you’re overreacting, and if they do, find a new one. You do not need to have anyone, including your doctor, belittling you for being concerned and proactive. Advocating for yourself is just as important as the self-check itself. There are great doctors out there. If you do not have one, keep looking. YOU are worth it!

Love Yourself Enough to Check

Self-checks aren’t meant to replace mammograms or professional exams, but they’re a fantastic way to stay in tune with your body. Make it a routine, pair it with something fun afterwards. Maybe a celebratory glass of wine or a popcorn and a movie night or a soak in the tub with extra bubbles. And do not forget to remind your friends to do it too. Because when it comes to health, knowledge and action is power. We ladies need to be supporting and raising each other up! Also, get the men in your life to check theirs too! This isn’t just a woman’s issue; men get breast cancer too!

So go on, be your own hero. Give those boobs a check!

You might just save your own life, like I did.

Life Post Treatment

By tammyg | January 28, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

I have never really been one to want to take a bunch of drugs. If I have a choice, I will always choose a holistic approach. A vitamin or supplement approach first before turning to the world of prescription medication.

That being said, I do believe there is a time, place, and benefit to prescription drugs and using it them as a last resort has always been my preference.

Until breast cancer.

It is incredible how two words…one that used to remind me of something sexy (breast) and the other a horoscope (cancer). But when combined become deadly and lethal in an instant and have me reevaluating my whole take on life and prescription medications.

I still use supplements first, however I am now in a position where if I want to live, prescription medications will need to be taken for the next ten years…and to be fair, it is still all a gamble as to whether it will work for me or not…but I am not willing to take the chance to go the road without it.

So, you are probably wondering what am I rambling on about here?

Tamoxifen. This old drug is very effective in treating hormone receptive breast cancers. This drug works by blocking estrogen in your body. Basically, I was told that the estrogen in my body is what keeps producing cancer cells, so we need to block them. Like a bodyguard or the bouncer at a bar so to speak.

Being that my cancer really loves estrogen, the answer is Tamoxifen to help me. Here is the kicker…you know what else loves estrogen besides some cancers?

OUR BRAIN! Oh yes, the brain loves estrogen and without it, I have begun to feel like I am walking around in one big brain fart. I go to sleep at night and honestly wake up unclear what I did the night before or when I went to bed. Kind of like Groundhog Day! This used to be fun when I was in my twenties and had gone out the night before partying. This is not fun in my late forties after having gone to bed at 9pm after a cup of tea and have no reason not to remember what I did the night or day before!

Even some days trying to remember what I wrote about last and then blogging what I think is an awesome topic, only to discover I wrote nearly the same blog a week before. Frustrating and time consuming to say the least! The lack of estrogen to the brain can feel very debilitating at times.

So, how does one live with this?

Well…there are A LOT of checklists and calendar entries. I do my best to write most things down and calendar them. I take all my vitamins and supplements to help with the rest of my body feeling great and I do my best to not make myself wrong when I do honestly forget things and people must remind me or correct me.

My husband is a saint to put up with my brain in the shape that it is. He asks me to do something a certain way and I say “sure!” and then, almost immediately do it the opposite way to what he said. It has taken him some time too to realize that I am not doing this to upset him. I just honestly don’t remember him saying something or I know he said something, I just cannot remember what it was.

This all can be very frustrating to say the least. That being said, the silver lining is I don’t always remember all the bad stuff in life and if my socks go missing long enough, I just buy new ones! Oh and this whole memory loss thing did get me to write a book too so I would remember…You are welcome! See! Silver linings everywhere!

Win Win!

Living the Sleeve Life: Let’s talk about Lymphedema and Compression Devices

By tammyg | December 27, 2024 | Comments 0 Comment

The not-so-glamorous sidekick that can occur as a part of a cancer diagnosis that nobody asked for, and to be honest, I didn’t even understand until I was told my breast cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. What I have learned is that up to 30% of all breast cancer patients will develop lymphedema.

Whether it’s an arm that feels you feel you’re Popeye and your muscles or trying to push through your arm or a leg with dreams of becoming a tree trunk, lymphedema can certainly keep life interesting. But before you get too bummed about it, let’s talk about the true hero of the lymphedema world: the compression sleeve.

Yep, I’m talking about those snug, stretchy sleeves that hold it all together. They’re not just accessories—they’re lifesavers.

What Even Is Lymphedema, Anyway?

Let’s back up for a moment and learn about lymphedema first. Lymphedema is a condition where lymph fluid no longer circulates properly and throws a house party in your limbs. This happened to me in my right arm because of the cancer spreading to my nodes and having those nodes removed during surgery.

The result? Swelling, discomfort, and a crash course in patience quite frankly! It often shows up after surgery, radiation, or injury. That being said, it’s one you can learn to live with.

To live with lymphedema in my arm, I had to learn about compression sleeves: a tight, form-fitting garment designed to help move that fluid along. Think of it as a traffic cop for your lymphatic system, keeping things flowing in the right direction. “Move along, nothing to see here!”

The Truth About Compression Sleeves

Let’s me explain—putting on a compression sleeve can feel like wrestling to put on a sports bra…. only on one arm. Some days, it’s a breeze. Other days, it’s a full-body workout. And once it’s on, there’s no mistaking the sensation: it’s like your arm is getting the world’s most awkward hug.

But that hug is your secret weapon. It reduces swelling, prevents pain, and keeps lymphedema from getting worse. Plus, I found a few companies that makes these sleeves with fun tattoo-like patterns, so I started coordinating my sleeve with my outfits. This is also a fun way to mess with family and friends who think I got a new tattoo but then the next time they see me it is different. It sometimes takes them a long time to realize it is a sleeve. And that is when I know I have won the ”Cool sleeve” Award. That should really be a thing…just saying…

Tips for Rocking the Sleeve Life

Get the Right Fit
Compression sleeves are like jeans—if they don’t fit right, you’ll hate them. A trained fitter or therapist can measure your limb to make sure you get the right size for you.
Ease Into It
If you’re new to wearing a sleeve, start slow. Wear it for a few hours and work your way up. Your arm (or leg) needs time to adjust.
Keep It Clean
Hand-wash it regularly and let it air dry. They can start to smell if you don’t take care of them!
Make It Fun
Compression sleeves have come a long way from boring beige. At Juzo.com or Lymphedivas you can choose a floral print, or rock some stripes, or go full superhero with bright colors. If you have to wear one, you might as well have some fun with it!
Remember It’s a Team Effort
Compression sleeves work best when paired with other treatments like manual lymphatic drainage brushes or massage, exercise, lymphatic creams, and good skin care. Think of it as a holistic approach to keeping your lymph system happy and healthy (as it can be).

The truth is, the care for lymphedema doesn’t stop at compression sleeves but it is a good start! It also is not about just managing swelling—it’s about taking control of your health and finding ways to live fully, despite the challenges.

So, slip on that sleeve, own your unique style, and remember: you’re stronger than lymphedema ever bargained for! Ooh! and sometimes you may need a compression glove to move it out of your fingers like me! They can compress EVERYTHING nowadays!

We got this!

Dancing Through Diagnosis Tammy Gunn Breast Cancer Survivor Memoir

Truth Bomb for Family & Friends

By tammyg | October 29, 2024 | Comments 0 Comment

People reach out to me often about either themselves with cancer or family members or friends. I appreciate your trust in me to speak from the heart on this subject.

I am reminded often that when one person is affected by this disease, a whole community is hit. Cancer is like a tornado that whips its way through a community causing destruction everywhere.
When it comes to an end of treatment either by the individual surviving and thriving or passing, there is a lot of debris and emotions that have happened and now the community is out there looking together to see what damage has been done and will either rise above it all or may feel deep pain. Either way are very normal reactions to this disease and its impact.

Why I wrote my book was in part because of this. The impact that I saw for myself and my family was huge. I know I have a great support system around me but I am sure there were times, not said directly to me, but I knew people were thinking it… Will she live?
Some families I have spoken to have started creating memory boxes of their loved one. I get it. You want to ensure that their memory lives on.

Please be mindful though that this can occur to the patient like you have given up. It is not supportive to have someone treating you like you are dying or nearly dead when you are still alive and fighting! It shouldn’t even have to be said but many don’t understand that unless they go through it themselves. Having cancer is not easy to go through and mindset and who you surround yourself with can be everything.

Think about it from the patient’s point of view

How would you like it if people started treating you like you will be dead tomorrow?

As the patient, you are already dealing with your mortality. You do not need others fears to fuel what you are going through and causing you to become more afraid. What you need is strength. Making what seems impossible now possible.

If you cannot be that for your family or friend who is going through it, you need to get your own support. Please do not put your fears and emotions on the patient. They need to stay positive and believe they can overcome. There is lots of support out there for everyone and talking it through with someone other than the patient can be very helpful. It is always a scary and an emotional time for everyone. What is needed is love, belief to overcome and compassion.
Please know that your reactions and actions can get on the patient. Be kind, loving & supportive.

Seek out the support you need as well. It is okay to not be okay and there are incredible resources out there to help you too!

If you are unsure where to look for these resources, please send me a message and I will be happy to support you to find them.

We are all in this together!

(Below photo taken during my chemotherapy treatment)

Tag: breast cancer awareness