Tag: breast cancer books
Wait!! Can You Break a Boob?

Wait!! Can You Break a Boob?

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This month marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month…as a survivor, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is really every month of the year.  I do have moments now where I forget what I went through and that usually only lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour.  Honestly, this is because the scars I have cannot be unseen.  For this month, I wanted to share one chapter from my book Dancing Through Diagnosis.  What more fitting than the night my life changed…

Chapter 1

OH HELLO-THAT’S NEW

July 7th, 2021

“Pour me a glass of wine. I will be right down. Just got
to shower!” I holler while shutting down my laptop and
running upstairs.
It was a Wednesday night and like every Wednesday
night before it, during the pandemic I was teaching an
online Zumba class followed by a yummy dinner with a
glass of wine and a movie with my husband. Even through
the pandemic I had continued to teach hot, sweaty, dance
your heart out Zumba classes, albeit online. But still going
strong five days a week!

After a decade plus of dancing five to six days a week
easily doing anywhere from four to seven hours a day, I
still cannot get enough! Not even a pandemic can stop me
from shaking what my momma gave me!
Only this night would change the trajectory of
everything; simply by towelling off after a shower.
“What is that?” I said to myself… or maybe out loud.
Probably out loud and it was more like “WTH?!”
As my towel brushed past the bottom of my right
breast, I couldn’t help noticing that something didn’t feel
right. Broken glass? It felt like broken glass. Is that possible?
Could I have broken my boob? Can you break a boob?

My mind began to swirl toward real questions then to
ones that were clearly insane and made no sense… and yet,
I asked them out loud… to myself… in the mirror.
Is this one bigger than the left?
It’s not itchy… should it be itchy?
Will lotion smooth out those glassy edges?
Nope… what is that??
Quickly, I finished drying off and got dressed. My mind
was still racing. In that moment, I KNEW something wasn’t
right, but it couldn’t be what my brain was now racing at
full speed ahead to… the C word. Noooooo…. I am way too
young for that!
No, you’re not. Forty-four is not too young.
Thanks brain! You always know how to make a girl feel
good and calm!
I ran downstairs to find my husband scrolling through
Netflix looking for our movie of the night.
“Give me your hand!” I said as I ran toward him with
great concern.
He gave me his hand and before he knew it, he was in
full doctor mode (and not the fun kind) feeling my breast.
“Do you feel that?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?”
“I am not a doctor, Tammy. You should get that checked.”
“Right?! I should. That is not normal right?”
“I think you need to get it checked.” He repeated the
words and continued to scroll through Netflix with his
other hand.
I needed him to feel what I felt and confirm for me
that I was not losing my mind. And that it needed to be
checked, even though he had already said it twice. I felt
like I couldn’t trust myself anymore because my brain was
already hurtling me into a coffin by tomorrow.

I was at the beginning of a mental hurricane that whips
its way through any rational thinking and had begun
planning my funeral.
Does this ever happen to you?
The brain takes over all common sense and suddenly
you are making mental lists of who gets what when you
die and wishing you hadn’t been so crazy when you were
younger. Of wanting to take back so much of what you had
done but, in all honesty, it got you to where you are today.
And beside the broken boob and needing a doctor, you
think your life has actually been pretty awesome. Just not
at the moment because you still have a broken boob….
Please tell me I am not alone in this!
That night, I called and left a message for my doctor.
The real one… The one who could help. Because with
Google only a click away, I would be making my own full
diagnosis if I couldn’t reach my REAL doctor soon!
The next day I did speak to my doctor, thankfully,
because my brain was still on fast forward. And my doctor
knows me well enough to know that if I am calling like this,
I am in panic mode about something.
Yup, everything felt like it was moving at the speed of
light and yet at a turtle’s speed to get answers!

 

That night changed everything in my life. Any cancer patient can tell you when and how they discovered it.  I wrote Dancing Through Diagnosis for all those on the journey and those supporting family and friends on the journey because I think we need to get really real about what this experience is like and learn about all we don’t know about going through cancer. I never thought in a million years it would be me writing about this, but here we are!  And maybe it had to be me so that the medical jargon gets left out. And maybe because I love to write in real talk with a sense of humor and that is what the world needs right now.

On Amazon the readers find the content inspiring, encouraging, and hopeful. They appreciate the humor, saying it’s witty and playful. Readers describe the book as an excellent read for patients, caregivers, and those facing challenging times. They find the writing style engaging, tender, witty, and clear. They also describe the story as authentic and an emotional journey that deepens empathy.

I guess it is true then if you read it on Amazon! 😉  All joking aside, I have seen how this book has positively impacted those who have read it. I hope you will too and share it with your family and friends.

Links to purchase Dancing Through Diagnosis: CLICK HERE for Canada 

CLICK HERE for USA
Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

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Ya know what? I am not sorry for how I’ve lived my life. There! I said it!

Let’s get that out of the way early. I’m done sugarcoating it. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve misread the room. I’ve said the wrong thing, at the wrong time, with the wrong tone more than once. Then stood in the echo chamber of my own mind, torturing myself with the replay.  Ugh…Have  you ever done this?  But here’s the thing: I own it. I clean it up. I do the work.

So why do I still stress in the background about what other people think?

I’ve been chewing on this for a while (and by “chewing,” I mean gnawing on it like it’s the last piece of beef jerky on a deserted island). And all I’ve really come up with is I’m human. It’s what we do. Or at least, it’s what I do.  It seems almost too simple.

Maybe this isn’t your thing. Maybe you don’t spiral after conflict or stew in a stew of second-guessing. Maybe your flavor of internal chaos looks more like hiding out, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, or perfectionism. I don’t know your exact brand of self-sabotage but I’m willing to bet you’ve got something too!

But back to me for a second, shall we…

I genuinely try to live my life as a decent human being. I aim to help others, to lift people up, to be kind. I don’t always get it right. When I screw up and I will tell you right now that I for sure do…I take full responsibility. I acknowledge it. I apologize when necessary. I check in with whoever was affected and ask, “What can I do to make this right?”

Sounds healthy, right?  Should be done and over with!

But here’s the twist: I still beat myself up about it. I wear it. I wear my guilt and shame like a brand-new pair of stiff shoes. You can see them, they don’t fit right, and they make me walk funny. They blister my toes and heels. They slow me down. And yet, I keep putting them on. A glutton for punishment, I guess!

That’s when it hit me: I’ve internalized the idea that doing something wrong = being wrong. And even when I’ve made amends, some part of me latches onto the belief that I’m not a good person. It’s like this weird addiction to guilt.

“Hey, you messed up! Let’s hold onto that forever! It will be fun!”  NOT!!!

Why is that?

Because there’s a part of me that needs proof that I’m flawed, that I’m not enough, that I should stay small and quiet and not take up too much space. I can see that I have lived with this my entire life! And what better proof than a mistake I’ve already cleaned up but can still punish myself for?  Welcome to the Struggle Party—table for one.

And here’s where it gets serious: all this internalizing? This energy-sapping shame spiral? It doesn’t just stay in my mind. It shows up in my body. It morphs into stress, inflammation, and disease. I’m not just speaking metaphorically. I’m speaking from experience. Chronic guilt wears down the body like it wears down the soul.

The truth is we are made up of energy. Every thought, every feeling, every moment we give away to regret or fear, it takes a toll. And when I give my energy over to the past or to someone else’s opinion, I’m draining the reserves I need to be well, to heal, to thrive.

So, here’s the hard truth: knowing all this, hasn’t magically stopped me from doing it. But here’s the shift I see now. I name it when it’s happening. I can call out the voice in my head that says, “You’re bad” and respond with, “No, I’m just human. And I’m still growing.”  And doing that repeatedly because sometimes I don’t hear myself the first time.

Also, this isn’t a story about having it all figured out. It’s a story about catching myself mid-shame-spiral and saying, not today Tammy. It’s about reclaiming my energy, one messy moment at a time. And it’s about choosing to believe on the good days and the garbage days that I don’t need to apologize for being human.

So yeah, I’m not sorry. Not anymore.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be either.

Much love,

Tammy
Boobs, Bumps, and Being Your Own Super Hero: The Importance of Self-Checks

Boobs, Bumps, and Being Your Own Super Hero: The Importance of Self-Checks

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As the month of LOVE is coming to an end, I always wonder if all the ladies have given some love to themselves before anyone else?  I know you are wondering where I am going with this…

Let’s talk about your breasts of course!

Whether you call them boobs, tatas, the twins, or whatever creative name you have for them (please send me what you call them!) these body parts deserve some attention beyond bra shopping and awkward mammogram conversations. And no, I’m not saying you need to obsess over them in the mirror every day (unless that’s your thing, seriously, no judgment).

But a monthly breast self-check? That’s a game-changer that wasn’t on my radar or even knew how to do until it was essentially too late!  My self-check that saved my life was towelling off in the shower.  How crazy is that?!

As a breast cancer survivor, I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to know your body. Self-checks are a powerful, proactive way to detect any unusual changes early. Early detection saves lives, and trust me, you want to catch anything suspicious before it throws an unwelcome party in your body.  Like when my boob presented a lump that felt like broken glass!

Why Bother with Self-Checks? Can’t my Doctor do it?

Because you know your body better than anyone. That’s right! Even better than your doctor, your partner, and definitely better than Google (which, let’s be honest, will try to convince you that a mosquito bite is a rare disease). Self-checks help you get familiar with how your breasts normal look and feel, so if something changes, you’ll be the first to know.

How to Perform a Breast Self-Check Like a Pro

Here is what I learned:

Step 1: Set a Reminder
Pick a date each month (around the same time in your menstrual cycle if you still got it). No period? No problem, just choose a day that’s easy to remember. Maybe sync it with when you pay bills or, the day before a date night, or better yet, when you schedule a self-care night.  Which is the BEST night, and we should all be having them! (More about that later!)

Step 2: Check Yourself Out in the Mirror
Stand in front of a mirror with your hands on your hips and look for any visible changes in shape, size, or symmetry. Raise your arms and see if anything looks off. Dimpling, puckering, or any unexpected redness? Take note. Snap a pic if you like to put in your “Boob” album on your phone.  If someone steals your phone, they will be in for a big surprise…not quite what they thought they would find!

Step 3: Get Handsy in the Shower
With your fingers flat and together, move in small circles from the outside of your breast to the center. Cover the entire breast and don’t forget the armpit area (yep, breast tissue extends there too). Check for any lumps, thickening, or tenderness.

Step 4: Lie Down and Repeat
Gravity helps spread the breast tissue evenly, making it easier to feel any changes. Use the same circular motions with light, medium, and firm pressure. Don’t rush, this is your health, not a speed round. Take time to connect and listen to your body!

Step 5: Keep a Record
If you notice anything unusual like a lump, discharge, or persistent pain, don’t panic. I know that is easier said than done and you may be tempted to put your findings into Google, but I assure you, Google will inform you that you are immediately dying, and it becomes very stressful very quickly! The truth is, most lumps are benign, and it’s always best to check with your doctor. Keeping notes and pictures can help you track any changes over time.

When to Call the Doctor

If something feels different and doesn’t go away after a few weeks, make an appointment. Trust your instincts. Your doctor won’t think you’re overreacting, and if they do, find a new one. You do not need to have anyone, including your doctor, belittling you for being concerned and proactive. Advocating for yourself is just as important as the self-check itself.  There are great doctors out there.  If you do not have one, keep looking. YOU are worth it!

Love Yourself Enough to Check

Self-checks aren’t meant to replace mammograms or professional exams, but they’re a fantastic way to stay in tune with your body. Make it a routine, pair it with something fun afterwards. Maybe a celebratory glass of wine or a popcorn and a movie night or a soak in the tub with extra bubbles. And do not forget to remind your friends to do it too. Because when it comes to health, knowledge and action is power.  We ladies need to be supporting and raising each other up!  Also, get the men in your life to check theirs too! This isn’t just a woman’s issue; men get breast cancer too!

So go on, be your own hero. Give those boobs a check!

You might just save your own life, like I did.

 

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Dancing Through Diagnosis Tammy Gunn Breast Cancer Survivor Memoir