Life Post Treatment
I have never really been one to want to take a bunch of drugs. If I have a choice, I will always choose a holistic approach. A vitamin or supplement approach first before turning to the world of prescription medication.
That being said, I do believe there is a time, place, and benefit to prescription drugs and using it them as a last resort has always been my preference.
Until breast cancer.
It is incredible how two words…one that used to remind me of something sexy (breast) and the other a horoscope (cancer). But when combined become deadly and lethal in an instant and have me reevaluating my whole take on life and prescription medications.
I still use supplements first, however I am now in a position where if I want to live, prescription medications will need to be taken for the next ten years…and to be fair, it is still all a gamble as to whether it will work for me or not…but I am not willing to take the chance to go the road without it.
So, you are probably wondering what am I rambling on about here?
Tamoxifen. This old drug is very effective in treating hormone receptive breast cancers. This drug works by blocking estrogen in your body. Basically, I was told that the estrogen in my body is what keeps producing cancer cells, so we need to block them. Like a bodyguard or the bouncer at a bar so to speak.
Being that my cancer really loves estrogen, the answer is Tamoxifen to help me. Here is the kicker…you know what else loves estrogen besides some cancers?
OUR BRAIN! Oh yes, the brain loves estrogen and without it, I have begun to feel like I am walking around in one big brain fart. I go to sleep at night and honestly wake up unclear what I did the night before or when I went to bed. Kind of like Groundhog Day! This used to be fun when I was in my twenties and had gone out the night before partying. This is not fun in my late forties after having gone to bed at 9pm after a cup of tea and have no reason not to remember what I did the night or day before!
Even some days trying to remember what I wrote about last and then blogging what I think is an awesome topic, only to discover I wrote nearly the same blog a week before. Frustrating and time consuming to say the least! The lack of estrogen to the brain can feel very debilitating at times.
So, how does one live with this?
Well…there are A LOT of checklists and calendar entries. I do my best to write most things down and calendar them. I take all my vitamins and supplements to help with the rest of my body feeling great and I do my best to not make myself wrong when I do honestly forget things and people must remind me or correct me.
My husband is a saint to put up with my brain in the shape that it is. He asks me to do something a certain way and I say “sure!” and then, almost immediately do it the opposite way to what he said. It has taken him some time too to realize that I am not doing this to upset him. I just honestly don’t remember him saying something or I know he said something, I just cannot remember what it was.
This all can be very frustrating to say the least. That being said, the silver lining is I don’t always remember all the bad stuff in life and if my socks go missing long enough, I just buy new ones! Oh and this whole memory loss thing did get me to write a book too so I would remember…You are welcome! See! Silver linings everywhere!
Win Win!
