Tag: life after cancer

The Mental Weight of Surviving: Cancer’s Invisible Aftershock

The Mental Weight of Surviving: Cancer’s Invisible Aftershock

Let’s Talk About Breasts Baby…Let’s Talk About You and Me…Let’s Talk About All the good things and the bad things they could be…Let’s talk about breasts…

I can’t help but write while singing along in my head to Salt & Peppers hit song Let’s Talk about sex…

Yes, this is the way my brain operates day in and day out.  And now you are privy to just a taste of what goes on between my ears. This is the “good stuff!”

YOU are welcome my friend!

But it wasn’t always like this. Or perhaps a little bit but there was a time where all that went on between my ears was shear panic that I may die.  Like the thoughts of once diagnosed, the next day I would be dead and then a spiral to follow included my family having to deal with my funeral arrangements.

I know that all moved very quickly to death and funerals. I would assert though, that I am not the only person who has had that reaction when diagnosed with cancer.  The mind is a very powerful thing and like superpowers can be used for good or evil, so can our thoughts.

Mental health during a diagnosis is crucial and sometimes overlooked.  We just assume that first and foremost we need to take care of our physical body. Which is true. However, our mental state can often be the source of much destruction that will affect our overall being long term.

Women and men who go through a cancer diagnosis often talk about it as leaving a lasting PTSD type impact on their lives.  While going through it I felt like everyday I was swimming in the deep end of the pool and to be honest, I am not a great swimmer.  Every now and then I would go under water and come up gasping for air.

One of the even bigger issues came after all that deep water swimming and I hit land. Or better said, they told me my treatment was done, and they were unleashing me back into the world after years of being poked and prodded at I was left with this sense of “are you sure? What if it comes back? How will I know? What do I do now?” These questions took over the inner workings of my mind and left me fluttering without a paddle and now I was in the ocean!

There are a lot of analogies today I see.  Bear with me!

My experience was that there is not a lot of initial information shared with you once you are done all the treatment and seeking out support is crucial.  When the doctors and hospitals are done with you it’s kind of like they throw a mini celebration that you have completed everything. In the moment you too have your party hat on and are so thrilled that you did it! But then the dancing and party music shuts off. You take your party hat off and the next stage of your diagnosis sets in.

The future unknown.

A cancer diagnosis doesn’t end when treatment ends. In fact, I believe it has left me with this new sense of not really knowing who I am.  I am now in this new body that is navigating what I can and cannot do anymore.  I am constantly assessing how I am physically feeling and doing my best to not let the thoughts of reoccurrence come rumbling in.

Everyday, there is work to be done to remind myself that I am awesome, healthy and doing okay.  Mainly I must deal with these thoughts at 3 or 4 AM.  You know, primetime between the ears for all suspense thriller dramas and viewing pleasure!  The mind is a cruel movie sometimes!

Then the question then becomes “How do I support my mental health?”

Great question Tammy, I never thought you would ask! To be honest it has been a trial-and-error kind of phenomenon.  There is no one right way to deal with mental health and every person is responsible for finding what works for them.

For myself, I have taken a few different approaches to my mental health and here is my list in no particular order:

  1. Learning to breathe deeply and focus my intentions on breathing deeply. Sounds simple.  It is not and takes lots of practice day in and day out.
  2. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Find a great CBT doctor to support you in learning about our thoughts and how we spiral and how to control it.
  3. Get a Cancer Coach. I didn’t even know this existed at first but there are programs like Wellspring out there that have people who have gone through cancer and are trained to support others going through it to support you after all your treatment is done.
  4. Landmark Worldwide. I took these courses long before I was ever diagnosed. They provided me with a foundation to bring myself back to “what’s so” when my mind would go off.  When I completed all my treatment, I reviewed the course again and it supported me in getting complete with all that had happened.

When you hear that it takes a village to support one person, it is true.  We also all know that it doesn’t take a cancer diagnosis for any of us to know the importance of taking care of our mental heath and if I am being honest, we all need to take care of it now more than ever.  Whether it be a disease you are dealing with or just dealing with what is going on in our world today, it can all be really overwhelming.

Breast cancer taught me to slow down. Appreciate life and not be so wrapped up in what I couldn’t change.  It taught me that I can deal with anything and be okay.  It taught me that I am stronger than I thought.  It also taught me that what goes on between my ears can be both positive or negative within split seconds and there is support out there to guide me through the negative.

If you need support, reach out. You don’t have to do this alone.

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