Tag: support

I Found a Doctor in British Columbia, and It Took My Determined Pants!

I Found a Doctor in British Columbia, and It Took My Determined Pants!

When you move to British Columbia, or probably anywhere, there is a process you are supposed to follow to find a medical doctor.

You register for the Medical Services Plan, better known as MSP. You add your name to healthcare registries, care sites, and waitlists. You complete online intake forms and wait for someone to tell you that a doctor has become available.

So that is exactly what I did.

I registered with MSP. I joined the waitlists. I filled out forms and contacted clinics. A few offices eventually responded, only to tell me that I had been declined as a patient.

How do you get declined as a patient?

There was no explanation, no phone number, and no human being available to ask what I was supposed to do next.

Just one cheerful little word:

DECLINED.

I had already heard the horror stories about people waiting years to find a family doctor in British Columbia. Some people told me they had waited more than eight years.

Eight years. Yes, you read that correctly.

When you have been through cancer, that is not merely inconvenient. That is a horror story.

I did not have an oncology team in British Columbia to lean on. My medications were running out, and I require ongoing monitoring, blood work, follow-up appointments, and continued treatment for at least the next seven years!

But I could not simply contact a cancer hospital and ask for an oncology team.

I needed a family doctor to refer me.

Doctors, nurses, specialists, and healthcare workers are doing incredibly important work under enormous pressure.

The silly part of all of this is that there are not enough doctors to ensure people can access the care they need. The silly part is that someone who has already been through cancer can move between two Canadian provinces, yet the systems cannot easily communicate and continue that person’s care.

I knew what care I needed and where I needed to go. I simply could not get through the front door without someone who would take me on as a new patient to write the referral.

After a few weeks of feeling worried, frustrated, and honestly quite upset, I finally drew a line in the sand.

On Monday morning, I put on my determined pants.

I decided I was going to find a doctor that day, no matter what it took.

I worked my way through lists, websites, directories, and clinic pages across the Greater Vancouver area. By then, I no longer cared where the doctor was located.

I have a car.

I can get there.

I just need a doctor!

Many websites claimed clinics were accepting new patients. When I contacted them, they were not. Apparently, “accepting new patients” can sometimes mean “we once considered accepting new patients during a brief window in 2022.”

Still, I kept going.

After about five hours, I was exhausted and close to giving up. Then I found a doctor in Vancouver who appeared to be taking new patients.

I remained skeptical. By this point, I trusted the words “accepting new patients” about as much as I trust jeans labelled “one size fits all.”

But this time, it was true.

Not only did I get a doctor for myself, but Nino was accepted too.

And we did not find just any doctor.

From my first appointment, this young doctor understood exactly what I needed. I explained my cancer history, my treatment, my medication concerns, and the fact that I did not yet have an oncology team in British Columbia.

His immediate response was:

“We need to get you into a cancer hospital!”

YES!

I was finally heard.

It was patient-doctor love at first sight. Not that kind of love. I love him for being a great doctor. You know what I mean. Jeesh.

He was knowledgeable, compassionate, and thorough. He ordered blood work immediately and told me he would send the referral.

I completed my blood work on Wednesday. Today, I received notice that he has already arranged a virtual appointment to review the results with me.

And yesterday, after seeing this doctor only once, I received a letter from BC Cancer confirming that I have an appointment booked in six weeks.

I can finally breathe again.

Things are moving.

I have a doctor. My blood work is underway. My follow-up is booked. My BC Cancer appointment is scheduled. The right team is beginning to line up around me so I can move through the next few years of checkups, monitoring, and treatment with confidence.

For weeks, I felt as though I was standing alone in the middle of a healthcare maze, rattling every locked door.

Now, one has finally opened.

Finding a doctor should not have required weeks of worry, multiple rejections, five hours of relentless searching, and a particularly powerful pair of determined pants!

But I found one.

Even better, I found the right one.

It feels like Christmas came early, and today I am counting my blessings.

I am grateful for the doctor who listened, the referral to BC Cancer, and the feeling that I am supported again.

Sometimes the blessing is not simply finding what you were searching for.

Sometimes it is finding exactly who you needed.

Have you struggled to find a family doctor, transfer medical care between provinces, or navigating the healthcare system after cancer? Please share your experience in the comments. Your story may help someone else feel less alone, and perhaps together we can keep this important conversation moving forward.

Why Weighted Vests & Belts Are the Secret Weapon for Aging Like a Badass…

Why Weighted Vests & Belts Are the Secret Weapon for Aging Like a Badass…

I was recently approached by this amazing Canadian company to learn more about the benefits of weighted wearables and I have learned that this REALLY IS a secret weapon to taking care of ones’ health.  Here is why…

Let’s be upfront and honest…Aging is a privilege and it also comes with a few surprises. Achy joints. Slower recovery. Random mystery sounds when you get out of a chair. And for many women (and men!) creeping into midlife and beyond, bone density decides to play a cruel game of limbo: How low can you go?  Me? Not very low anymore!

If you’re a woman on tamoxifen, you’ve probably already heard the warnings whispered like ghost stories around a campfire: osteopenia… osteoporosis… brittle bones. And the fun part? Many don’t realize bone loss can start early, especially through cancer treatment. And you do not have to have gone through cancer treatment to be facing this lovely part of getting older! But before you wrap yourself in bubble wrap and swear off all activities except crocheting (which, to be fair, is wildly underrated), let’s talk about a powerhouse solution that’s affordable, effective, and surprisingly fun:

Weighted vests and belts.

Yes. Those chunky little heroes? They’re game-changers. I have seriously fallen in love!


The Science-y Truth: Your Bones Need a Challenge

Bones aren’t passive sticks holding up your skin bag. (Such a fun way to describe being human!)  Our bones are living, always adapting, always responding to the load you place on them.
If you place more load (enter: weighted vest), they respond by saying:

“Oh, we’re doing THIS now? Fine. I’ll get stronger.”

This magic is called osteogenic loading, and it’s one of the best ways to keep your skeleton solid as you age. Walking, dancing, cleaning, doing stairs — all get a bone-boosting upgrade when you add a little safe, evenly-distributed weight.  And it is so easy that you don’t need to really do anything different in your day, other than throw on the vest or belt before you do your regular activities!

Benefits of wearing a weighted vest/or belt include:

  • Increased bone density

  • Stronger posture (hello superhero stance)

  • Better balance

  • Improved muscle tone

  • Higher calorie burn (without doing anything extra = blessed.)

  • Confidence boost because you feel like a warrior in disguise (I am not kidding! You will feel so good all over!)


Let’s Talk Weighted Gear & Tamoxifen: Your Bones Deserve Backup

Tamoxifen is a lifesaver but it can be a bone-density troublemaker for some people, especially premenopausal women. Even post-treatment, the risk of osteoporosis can be higher.  It is the little pill that decreases your chances of cancer recurring but like anything you take, it comes with side effects and here we are fighting to keep our bone health safe!

So what can help?

Regular weight-bearing movement + added load = bones staying dense, fierce, and fully employed.

A weighted vest or belt is like giving your bones a pep talk:
“Hey, don’t you dare shrink. We’ve got things to do.”

Every time I put mine on I feel like a Super Hero getting ready to take on the day! It is an amazing confidence boost!


Vests vs. Belts: Which One’s Your Style?

I mention both because I own both and I LOVE them both for different reasons so let me break down each of them for you…

Weighted Vests

Perfect for:

  • Walking

  • Hiking

  • Household chores

  • Teaching or taking Zumba (I see you!)

  • Everyday errands that double as stealth workouts

It sits comfortably, distribute weight evenly, and doesn’t shift around like that bra you know you should get rid of but wear all the time anyway!

Weighted Belts

Perfect for:

  • Dog walks

  • Running

  • Mobility work

  • People who want the benefits without looking like they’re wearing tactical gear

Belts are subtle but powerful like the quiet kid from high school who later becomes a CEO.


Next up…Okay But Why Power WearHouse?

Because — and I’m not exaggerating — they’re the best weighted vests and belts on the market.
Most weights out there?
• Too bulky
• Too bouncy
• Dig into your shoulders
• Or look like they were designed by someone who hates comfort…seriously….why would you wear something that is so uncomfortable when you have a choice?!

Power WearHouse gets it RIGHT!
Comfortable. Adjustable. Designed for real bodies doing real movement. And they actually look… good!

I’ve tested them. I’ve worn them. I’ve danced in them. I’ve walked my dog in them. I’ve lived my life in them. And I can confidently say:
Your future bones will thank you.


Here is MY Invitation to Level Up (With a Discount 😏)

If you’re ready to age with strength, sass, mobility, and bones that refuse to quit, here’s your moment.

👉🏼 Order your weighted vest or belt at:

powerwearhouse.com

Click the link above and use my code POWERWITHTAMMY for a sweet little discount because strong bones shouldn’t come with a big price tag.


My Final Thoughts:

You don’t need to overhaul your life.
You don’t need to join a gym.
You don’t need to turn into “that person” who talks about fitness at dinner parties.

Just add a vest or belt to what you’re already doing like walking the dog, climbing stairs, dancing in the kitchen, chasing the kids, or living your everyday magic.

A little weight today = a LOT more living tomorrow.

Your bones are ready.
Your future self is cheering.
And honestly? You’re going to look fantastic.

Don’t just take my word for it…EXPERIENCE it for YOURSELF!

Much love,

Tammy

When Healing Feels Heavy: My Life with Lymphedema

When Healing Feels Heavy: My Life with Lymphedema

Nobody warned me that surviving cancer came with bonus features…

Scars? Expected.

Fatigue? Sure.

Random swelling that makes me feel like I have arm-wrestled the Pillsbury Doughboy and lost? Yeah, that one was not in the brochure.

Welcome to life with lymphedema! The unwanted gift that keeps on giving!

When I woke up after my bilateral mastectomy, I was greeted with the news that the surgeon had to take many of my lymph nodes from my right arm pit because they tested positive for cancer.  I knew this might happen but on the day of surgery they still were not clear if they would need to.  I had my mind set that they wouldn’t need to so this was a blow to my emotional state when they told me.  What it now meant was my lymph system used to move fluid around efficiently. Now it’s like, “Nope, I’m out. You handle it.” The result? One arm (and sometimes armpit) that swells, tightens, and throbs like one of those neon lights flickering in a window.

What It Feels Like (Spoiler: Not a Spa Day)

Imagine wearing an invisible blood-pressure cuff that never quite releases. Add in a pinch of heaviness, a dash of tingling, and the occasional “did-someone-stuff-a-tennis-ball-under-my-skin?” sensation. That’s lymphedema.

Most mornings, I wake up and my arm looks fine… almost normal. Other days, it feels like it’s been filled with wet sand overnight. If I lift it too long or skip my sleeve, I swear I can hear it puff up like a balloon.  You may not be able to see it because my arm so far doesn’t swell up as bad as many others do but I can feel it and it feels huge and uncomfortable.

Oh, and don’t get me started on how weather affects it. Humid days? Forget it. My arm swells faster than my hair in a rainstorm.

How I Deal with It (and Try Not to Lose My Mind)

Let’s get one thing straight: lymphedema isn’t something you cure. It’s something you manage …like a grumpy roommate who refuses to move out. But I’ve learned a few tricks to keep the peace.

  1. Compression Garments: My Not-So-Sexy Armor

Yes, I wear a compression sleeve. Sometimes a bra that feels like it was engineered by NASA. They’re not glamorous, but they work. You get used to it. Think of them like Spanx for your lymph system. Juzo.com has some of the most beautiful tattoo style prints that make compression sleeves a thing of fashion!

I’ve learned to pick fun colors and pretend like I’m auditioning for a superhero reboot: “Lympha-Woman: Defender of Circulation!”

  1. Massage and Manual Drainage

There’s a fancy name for it — Manual Lymphatic Drainage — which sounds like a plumbing service. But it’s basically gentle self-massage to help move fluid. I do it daily, whispering encouraging things to my arm like, “Come on, girl, let’s get things flowing. You can do it!”

  1. Movement That Doesn’t Make Me Swear

Exercise helps but not the “crush-it” kind. Think Zumba, walking, stretching, yoga, and anything that keeps the lymph fluid moving without overdoing it.
I’ve learned the hard way that pushing too far means puffing up later. So now I stop before my arm throws a tantrum.

  1. Hydration (and Fewer Salty Snacks, Sigh)

Turns out the more water I drink, the less my arm swells. Wild, right? I also try to limit salt and sugar. This is a tough one because I love a good salty snack!
But I’ll be real… if it’s movie night and there’s popcorn; I’m not measuring sodium content. I’ll just wear my sleeve, deal with the swelling and call it balance.

  1. Skin Care Is Non-Negotiable

Because my lymph system’s lazy, any cut or bug bite could turn into an infection. So, I baby my skin like it’s royalty. I never was one to be great at skincare before but now I am obsessed with moisturizer, gentle soap, and clean towels. Basically, I treat my arm and all of my skin better than anything.

  1. Rest and Elevation

Sometimes the best thing I can do is lie down and prop my arm up like it’s living its best queen life. It’s not glamorous, but hey, if my arm wants to relax on a pillow throne, so be it. It helps!

The Mental Weight No One Talks About

Physically, lymphedema is uncomfortable. But emotionally? It’s exhausting. It’s a daily reminder that even though I “beat cancer,” my body still carries the baggage. There are days I look at my swollen arm and think, Seriously? Haven’t we been through enough?

Then there are days I marvel at what my body still can do. It’s carried me through chemo, surgery, radiation, and now, this. It’s a little swollen, a little stubborn, but still showing up. Kind of like me!

I’ve learned to laugh about it when I can. I even gave my swollen side a nickname: The Diva. She acts up when I’m stressed, hates humidity, and demands attention. But when I care for her, she usually settles down.

What I Want Others to Know

If you’re dealing with lymphedema or love someone who is, know that this condition is both invisible and relentless. It’s not “just swelling.” It’s physical discomfort, body image frustration, and a lifelong maintenance plan. But it’s also survivorship. It’s resilience with a side of sarcasm.

And here’s the thing: I may have to manage this forever, but I refuse to let it manage me.

I dance. I write. I live. Some days I do it with grace; other days I do it with a swollen armpit and a bad attitude. But I do it! And that’s what matters.

My Final thought: Healing isn’t about looking perfect. It’s about learning to live fully even when one arm needs a little extra TLC and a custom sleeve.

When you see me out dancing with my compression gear on, don’t pity me. Just know I’m moving, sweating, and still very much living through the swell.

It is not easy. But it is do-able!

Wait!! Can You Break a Boob?

Wait!! Can You Break a Boob?

This month marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month…as a survivor, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is really every month of the year.  I do have moments now where I forget what I went through and that usually only lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour.  Honestly, this is because the scars I have cannot be unseen.  For this month, I wanted to share one chapter from my book Dancing Through Diagnosis.  What more fitting than the night my life changed…

Chapter 1

OH HELLO-THAT’S NEW

July 7th, 2021

“Pour me a glass of wine. I will be right down. Just got
to shower!” I holler while shutting down my laptop and
running upstairs.
It was a Wednesday night and like every Wednesday
night before it, during the pandemic I was teaching an
online Zumba class followed by a yummy dinner with a
glass of wine and a movie with my husband. Even through
the pandemic I had continued to teach hot, sweaty, dance
your heart out Zumba classes, albeit online. But still going
strong five days a week!

After a decade plus of dancing five to six days a week
easily doing anywhere from four to seven hours a day, I
still cannot get enough! Not even a pandemic can stop me
from shaking what my momma gave me!
Only this night would change the trajectory of
everything; simply by towelling off after a shower.
“What is that?” I said to myself… or maybe out loud.
Probably out loud and it was more like “WTH?!”
As my towel brushed past the bottom of my right
breast, I couldn’t help noticing that something didn’t feel
right. Broken glass? It felt like broken glass. Is that possible?
Could I have broken my boob? Can you break a boob?

My mind began to swirl toward real questions then to
ones that were clearly insane and made no sense… and yet,
I asked them out loud… to myself… in the mirror.
Is this one bigger than the left?
It’s not itchy… should it be itchy?
Will lotion smooth out those glassy edges?
Nope… what is that??
Quickly, I finished drying off and got dressed. My mind
was still racing. In that moment, I KNEW something wasn’t
right, but it couldn’t be what my brain was now racing at
full speed ahead to… the C word. Noooooo…. I am way too
young for that!
No, you’re not. Forty-four is not too young.
Thanks brain! You always know how to make a girl feel
good and calm!
I ran downstairs to find my husband scrolling through
Netflix looking for our movie of the night.
“Give me your hand!” I said as I ran toward him with
great concern.
He gave me his hand and before he knew it, he was in
full doctor mode (and not the fun kind) feeling my breast.
“Do you feel that?”
“Yes.”
“What is it?”
“I am not a doctor, Tammy. You should get that checked.”
“Right?! I should. That is not normal right?”
“I think you need to get it checked.” He repeated the
words and continued to scroll through Netflix with his
other hand.
I needed him to feel what I felt and confirm for me
that I was not losing my mind. And that it needed to be
checked, even though he had already said it twice. I felt
like I couldn’t trust myself anymore because my brain was
already hurtling me into a coffin by tomorrow.

I was at the beginning of a mental hurricane that whips
its way through any rational thinking and had begun
planning my funeral.
Does this ever happen to you?
The brain takes over all common sense and suddenly
you are making mental lists of who gets what when you
die and wishing you hadn’t been so crazy when you were
younger. Of wanting to take back so much of what you had
done but, in all honesty, it got you to where you are today.
And beside the broken boob and needing a doctor, you
think your life has actually been pretty awesome. Just not
at the moment because you still have a broken boob….
Please tell me I am not alone in this!
That night, I called and left a message for my doctor.
The real one… The one who could help. Because with
Google only a click away, I would be making my own full
diagnosis if I couldn’t reach my REAL doctor soon!
The next day I did speak to my doctor, thankfully,
because my brain was still on fast forward. And my doctor
knows me well enough to know that if I am calling like this,
I am in panic mode about something.
Yup, everything felt like it was moving at the speed of
light and yet at a turtle’s speed to get answers!

 

That night changed everything in my life. Any cancer patient can tell you when and how they discovered it.  I wrote Dancing Through Diagnosis for all those on the journey and those supporting family and friends on the journey because I think we need to get really real about what this experience is like and learn about all we don’t know about going through cancer. I never thought in a million years it would be me writing about this, but here we are!  And maybe it had to be me so that the medical jargon gets left out. And maybe because I love to write in real talk with a sense of humor and that is what the world needs right now.

On Amazon the readers find the content inspiring, encouraging, and hopeful. They appreciate the humor, saying it’s witty and playful. Readers describe the book as an excellent read for patients, caregivers, and those facing challenging times. They find the writing style engaging, tender, witty, and clear. They also describe the story as authentic and an emotional journey that deepens empathy.

I guess it is true then if you read it on Amazon! 😉  All joking aside, I have seen how this book has positively impacted those who have read it. I hope you will too and share it with your family and friends.

Links to purchase Dancing Through Diagnosis: CLICK HERE for Canada 

CLICK HERE for USA

The Biggest Challenge I Danced Through was Not Breast Cancer…

The Biggest Challenge I Danced Through was Not Breast Cancer…

One of the biggest adjustments in my life after cancer is not the cancer itself surprisingly but the lymphedema in my right arm from having my lymph nodes removed

Let us refresh on what exactly is Lymphedema?

Think of lymphedema like this:

The lymphatic system is basically the body’s sewer system.  While we go about our day it is quietly whisking away excess fluid, waste, bacteria and viruses. When it’s working properly, we don’t notice it at all.  In fact, I didn’t even understand it existed at all until I had part of it removed! When it’s not working… well, imagine our sink drain is clogged up with hair or food or something else nasty. The water (in this case, lymph fluid) has nowhere to go, so it starts pooling where it shouldn’t.

That’s lymphedema! A stubborn, unwanted pooling of fluid under your skin. Your limb puffs up like it’s a balloon-animal, but instead of being a cute giraffe or a poodle, you just end up with a swollen leg or arm.

Important Note: It’s not contagious, it’s certainly not glamorous, but it is persistent! Almost like that one guest who won’t leave the party even after you’ve put the lights on and started cleaning up.  Take a hint! It is time to gooooo!

This really is, in my opinion, one of the worst parts of having metastatic breast cancer.

I have been dealing with this for 3 years now and will for the rest of my life.  I am not complaining about it…well, some days I am if I am being honest.  Like when it is really swollen and even just wearing a t-shirt is the most annoying thing ever.

There are many things I can do to get it back under control such as lymphatic drainage massages either on myself or by a professional.  In this type of treatment, it is like mapping the fluid to the drainage ports in our body.  Slowly pushing the Jell-O like substance under the skin (aka-Lymph fluid) towards the groin and opposite armpit where the lymphatic system is still intact and can process all the waste.  I am sorry for the Jell-O analogy.  I know I can’t eat it anymore either after that visual. Blahh…. textures are now a thing for me!

When I first had to learn to manage my lymphedema it was noted that my right arm and hand were what was affected by the lymphedema.  Knowing this, I was put into a compression garment for my arm and hand.  It has been working great; however, in the last year I have noticed that the fluid is now being trapped in my shoulder and armpit as well as the scapula area.

Fun right? Not really!

Today I had an appointment with Cancer Rehabilitation.  Yes, that is a thing! And thank God it is!  The appointment consisted of my physiotherapist measuring the swelling in my arm.  The crazy part is my left arm is now smaller than my right, but my right arm is smaller than it was three years ago!

So, what does that even mean?

Well, it means that I am managing my lymphedema very well in my arm.  That is the good part!

The not great part is the uncomfortable pooling of fluid happening in my arm pit and my back area.  The good part about today is I learned there are options to support the movement of fluid in this area as well!   There are compression bras and padding that can be added to a bra to help compress and move the fluid.

I recommend we all learn as much as possible about our lymphatic system BEFORE we have to learn to manage it like I have. Here is a comprehensive list of things we can do to manage our lymphatic system:

Move Your Body (Daily)

  • Exercise is #1. Walking, dancing, yoga, rebounding, and swimming are great examples of all that help.
  • Think: movement = drainage.

Stay Hydrated

  • Lymph fluid is mostly water…. besides some of that Jell-O like texture. If you’re dehydrated, your system slows down like pouring molasses.
  • Aim for steady sips throughout the day and make your water interesting by adding cucumber, lemon or even basil!

Massage & Dry Brushing

  • Lymphatic massage can be a game-changer, especially if you’ve had surgery or radiation. You can do this yourself or with a professional.
  • Dry brushing (always brushing toward the heart) helps stimulate lymph flow and slough off dead skin.

Deep Breathing

  • You might think you do this, but I will guarantee that most of us do not!
  • Your diaphragm acts like a pump for the lymph system. Slow, deep belly breathing is simple but powerful.
  • Try a few minutes of breathing: inhale for 4, hold 7, exhale 8.

 Eat Clean, Anti-Inflammatory Foods

  • We all know in theory that junk food is bad for us and yet we do it! Now is the time to adjust the sails!
  • Go heavy on veggies, berries, leafy greens, and omega-3s.
  • Avoid processed junk and too much salt, which can make your body hang onto fluid. Sorry salt! I have loved you for too long!

Sweat It Out

  • Saunas, steam rooms, hot yoga are all activities that encourage sweating, which supports detox.
  • Just remember to rehydrate like a champ afterward.  What goes out, you need to replenish back in!

Sleep & Stress Management

  • Poor sleep and chronic stress both throw your lymph system off. Trust me! I have experienced this one firsthand and it is no fun at all!
  • Restorative sleep and stress-reducing practices (meditation, journaling, nature time) keep your immune and drainage systems in sync.

There you have it! Some great ways to support that beautiful system that keeps our bodies healthy and our immune system happy! I hope you never have to know what life is like to live with a broken-down lymphatic system but know that if you ever do, I have you covered!

That ONE Thing

That ONE Thing

Well, here we are… another month of 2025 nearly in the rearview. I blinked and somehow we skipped half the year. As I write this, it’s a Monday morning and finally the sun is out after what felt like three weeks of straight  gloom.

I’m someone who’s very affected by the weather. On grey days, I basically morph into a blanket-wrapped gremlin with brain fog, a hint of nausea, and the motivation of a potato. I clean a lot. (Don’t ask why.  I am thinking it’s my coping mechanism.) But the second the sun shows up? I’m ready to Zumba through the day. Picture me, The Sound of Music-style, arms outstretched, sprinting up a hill, trying to hug the sun. Yes, my imagination is dramatic and most times plays out in a musical format.

Today the sun is shining, I feel like writing, and suddenly, everything feels possible. Winning energy is everywhere. Well, almost everywhere except for the Dallas Stars. GO OILERS! (Had to say it!)

But here’s the real kicker: it’s wild how one simple thing, like the weather, can completely shift how you feel, think, and move through your day. That one thing can really be anything: a diagnosis, a job loss, a text message, finding out you’re pregnant, or even running into someone you didn’t expect to see at the grocery store (while wearing Crocs and yesterday’s mascara). Whatever it is, it has the power to spiral us into joy, panic, grief, laughter. Sometimes all at once which really makes us look sane right?!

But how you respond to that one thing doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else. It makes you human.

Let’s be real… life didn’t come with a manual or mathematical formula. There’s no equation that says, “If you just do this, everything will turn out perfect.” Unless I missed that class in high school which, to be fair, is totally possible.  Pam, if you are reading this, you know right now we are riding around in your car listening to the Cranberries and buying snackwiches at KFC!  See, completely possible I, nor Pam, was in math class that day. But I digress.

The point is, life just happens. In the form of weather, friends, family drama, pop quizzes, job loss, medical news. You name it. That is life! And our interpretation of those events becomes the lens through which we survive. For me, it was cancer that flipped everything upside down. Suddenly, all the little things I used to stress about? Poof! They all became background noise. The stuff that truly mattered finally took center stage.

But what about when everything feels like the big thing?

Excellent question, Tammy. Thanks for asking.

The answer? It’s all about perspective. What’s massive to me might not register on your radar. And what feels like a blip to me could be someone else’s mountain. That’s where the most important life lesson of all comes in. Are you ready for it?

BE KIND TO EVERYONE.

Because everyone’s going through something. Everyone has their “one thing.” Maybe just today, maybe this year, maybe for the past decade. We’re all navigating our own stuff, doing our best, and sometimes just holding it together with sheer willpower, humor and a dash of crazy behaviour.

So whether the sun’s out or hiding, whether you’re dancing on a hill or curled up on the couch, remember: perspective matters. Kindness matters. And you, dear reader, are doing just fine.

YOU GOT THIS! And I got you!


Let’s Talk About It

What’s your “one thing” right now? How do you shift your perspective when the clouds roll in (literally or figuratively)? I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment or send a message. Let’s remind each other that we’re not alone in the wild ride that is life.

Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

Struggle Party of One: Why I’m Done Apologizing for Being Human

Ya know what? I am not sorry for how I’ve lived my life. There! I said it!

Let’s get that out of the way early. I’m done sugarcoating it. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve misread the room. I’ve said the wrong thing, at the wrong time, with the wrong tone more than once. Then stood in the echo chamber of my own mind, torturing myself with the replay.  Ugh…Have  you ever done this?  But here’s the thing: I own it. I clean it up. I do the work.

So why do I still stress in the background about what other people think?

I’ve been chewing on this for a while (and by “chewing,” I mean gnawing on it like it’s the last piece of beef jerky on a deserted island). And all I’ve really come up with is I’m human. It’s what we do. Or at least, it’s what I do.  It seems almost too simple.

Maybe this isn’t your thing. Maybe you don’t spiral after conflict or stew in a stew of second-guessing. Maybe your flavor of internal chaos looks more like hiding out, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, or perfectionism. I don’t know your exact brand of self-sabotage but I’m willing to bet you’ve got something too!

But back to me for a second, shall we…

I genuinely try to live my life as a decent human being. I aim to help others, to lift people up, to be kind. I don’t always get it right. When I screw up and I will tell you right now that I for sure do…I take full responsibility. I acknowledge it. I apologize when necessary. I check in with whoever was affected and ask, “What can I do to make this right?”

Sounds healthy, right?  Should be done and over with!

But here’s the twist: I still beat myself up about it. I wear it. I wear my guilt and shame like a brand-new pair of stiff shoes. You can see them, they don’t fit right, and they make me walk funny. They blister my toes and heels. They slow me down. And yet, I keep putting them on. A glutton for punishment, I guess!

That’s when it hit me: I’ve internalized the idea that doing something wrong = being wrong. And even when I’ve made amends, some part of me latches onto the belief that I’m not a good person. It’s like this weird addiction to guilt.

“Hey, you messed up! Let’s hold onto that forever! It will be fun!”  NOT!!!

Why is that?

Because there’s a part of me that needs proof that I’m flawed, that I’m not enough, that I should stay small and quiet and not take up too much space. I can see that I have lived with this my entire life! And what better proof than a mistake I’ve already cleaned up but can still punish myself for?  Welcome to the Struggle Party—table for one.

And here’s where it gets serious: all this internalizing? This energy-sapping shame spiral? It doesn’t just stay in my mind. It shows up in my body. It morphs into stress, inflammation, and disease. I’m not just speaking metaphorically. I’m speaking from experience. Chronic guilt wears down the body like it wears down the soul.

The truth is we are made up of energy. Every thought, every feeling, every moment we give away to regret or fear, it takes a toll. And when I give my energy over to the past or to someone else’s opinion, I’m draining the reserves I need to be well, to heal, to thrive.

So, here’s the hard truth: knowing all this, hasn’t magically stopped me from doing it. But here’s the shift I see now. I name it when it’s happening. I can call out the voice in my head that says, “You’re bad” and respond with, “No, I’m just human. And I’m still growing.”  And doing that repeatedly because sometimes I don’t hear myself the first time.

Also, this isn’t a story about having it all figured out. It’s a story about catching myself mid-shame-spiral and saying, not today Tammy. It’s about reclaiming my energy, one messy moment at a time. And it’s about choosing to believe on the good days and the garbage days that I don’t need to apologize for being human.

So yeah, I’m not sorry. Not anymore.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be either.

Much love,

Tammy

Boobs, Bumps, and Being Your Own Super Hero: The Importance of Self-Checks

Boobs, Bumps, and Being Your Own Super Hero: The Importance of Self-Checks

As the month of LOVE is coming to an end, I always wonder if all the ladies have given some love to themselves before anyone else?  I know you are wondering where I am going with this…

Let’s talk about your breasts of course!

Whether you call them boobs, tatas, the twins, or whatever creative name you have for them (please send me what you call them!) these body parts deserve some attention beyond bra shopping and awkward mammogram conversations. And no, I’m not saying you need to obsess over them in the mirror every day (unless that’s your thing, seriously, no judgment).

But a monthly breast self-check? That’s a game-changer that wasn’t on my radar or even knew how to do until it was essentially too late!  My self-check that saved my life was towelling off in the shower.  How crazy is that?!

As a breast cancer survivor, I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to know your body. Self-checks are a powerful, proactive way to detect any unusual changes early. Early detection saves lives, and trust me, you want to catch anything suspicious before it throws an unwelcome party in your body.  Like when my boob presented a lump that felt like broken glass!

Why Bother with Self-Checks? Can’t my Doctor do it?

Because you know your body better than anyone. That’s right! Even better than your doctor, your partner, and definitely better than Google (which, let’s be honest, will try to convince you that a mosquito bite is a rare disease). Self-checks help you get familiar with how your breasts normal look and feel, so if something changes, you’ll be the first to know.

How to Perform a Breast Self-Check Like a Pro

Here is what I learned:

Step 1: Set a Reminder
Pick a date each month (around the same time in your menstrual cycle if you still got it). No period? No problem, just choose a day that’s easy to remember. Maybe sync it with when you pay bills or, the day before a date night, or better yet, when you schedule a self-care night.  Which is the BEST night, and we should all be having them! (More about that later!)

Step 2: Check Yourself Out in the Mirror
Stand in front of a mirror with your hands on your hips and look for any visible changes in shape, size, or symmetry. Raise your arms and see if anything looks off. Dimpling, puckering, or any unexpected redness? Take note. Snap a pic if you like to put in your “Boob” album on your phone.  If someone steals your phone, they will be in for a big surprise…not quite what they thought they would find!

Step 3: Get Handsy in the Shower
With your fingers flat and together, move in small circles from the outside of your breast to the center. Cover the entire breast and don’t forget the armpit area (yep, breast tissue extends there too). Check for any lumps, thickening, or tenderness.

Step 4: Lie Down and Repeat
Gravity helps spread the breast tissue evenly, making it easier to feel any changes. Use the same circular motions with light, medium, and firm pressure. Don’t rush, this is your health, not a speed round. Take time to connect and listen to your body!

Step 5: Keep a Record
If you notice anything unusual like a lump, discharge, or persistent pain, don’t panic. I know that is easier said than done and you may be tempted to put your findings into Google, but I assure you, Google will inform you that you are immediately dying, and it becomes very stressful very quickly! The truth is, most lumps are benign, and it’s always best to check with your doctor. Keeping notes and pictures can help you track any changes over time.

When to Call the Doctor

If something feels different and doesn’t go away after a few weeks, make an appointment. Trust your instincts. Your doctor won’t think you’re overreacting, and if they do, find a new one. You do not need to have anyone, including your doctor, belittling you for being concerned and proactive. Advocating for yourself is just as important as the self-check itself.  There are great doctors out there.  If you do not have one, keep looking. YOU are worth it!

Love Yourself Enough to Check

Self-checks aren’t meant to replace mammograms or professional exams, but they’re a fantastic way to stay in tune with your body. Make it a routine, pair it with something fun afterwards. Maybe a celebratory glass of wine or a popcorn and a movie night or a soak in the tub with extra bubbles. And do not forget to remind your friends to do it too. Because when it comes to health, knowledge and action is power.  We ladies need to be supporting and raising each other up!  Also, get the men in your life to check theirs too! This isn’t just a woman’s issue; men get breast cancer too!

So go on, be your own hero. Give those boobs a check!

You might just save your own life, like I did.

 

Life Post Treatment

Life Post Treatment

I have never really been one to want to take a bunch of drugs.  If I have a choice, I will always choose a holistic approach. A vitamin or supplement approach first before turning to the world of prescription medication.

That being said, I do believe there is a time, place, and benefit to prescription drugs and using it them as a last resort has always been my preference.

Until breast cancer.

It is incredible how two words…one that used to remind me of something sexy (breast) and the other a horoscope (cancer). But when combined become deadly and lethal in an instant and have me reevaluating my whole take on life and prescription medications.

I still use supplements first, however I am now in a position where if I want to live, prescription medications will need to be taken for the next ten years…and to be fair, it is still all a gamble as to whether it will work for me or not…but I am not willing to take the chance to go the road without it.

So, you are probably wondering what am I rambling on about here?

Tamoxifen.  This old drug is very effective in treating hormone receptive breast cancers.  This drug works by blocking estrogen in your body.  Basically, I was told that the estrogen in my body is what keeps producing cancer cells, so we need to block them.  Like a bodyguard or the bouncer at a bar so to speak.

Being that my cancer really loves estrogen, the answer is Tamoxifen to help me.  Here is the kicker…you know what else loves estrogen besides some cancers?

OUR BRAIN! Oh yes, the brain loves estrogen and without it, I have begun to feel like I am walking around in one big brain fart.  I go to sleep at night and honestly wake up unclear what I did the night before or when I went to bed.  Kind of like Groundhog Day! This used to be fun when I was in my twenties and had gone out the night before partying.  This is not fun in my late forties after having gone to bed at 9pm after a cup of tea and have no reason not to remember what I did the night or day before!

Even some days trying to remember what I wrote about last and then blogging what I think is an awesome topic, only to discover I wrote nearly the same blog a week before. Frustrating and time consuming to say the least!  The lack of estrogen to the brain can feel very debilitating at times.

So, how does one live with this?

Well…there are A LOT of checklists and calendar entries.  I do my best to write most things down and calendar them.  I take all my vitamins and supplements to help with the rest of my body feeling great and I do my best to not make myself wrong when I do honestly forget things and people must remind me or correct me.

My husband is a saint to put up with my brain in the shape that it is.  He asks me to do something a certain way and I say “sure!” and then, almost immediately do it the opposite way to what he said.  It has taken him some time too to realize that I am not doing this to upset him.  I just honestly don’t remember him saying something or I know he said something, I just cannot remember what it was.

This all can be very frustrating to say the least.  That being said, the silver lining is I don’t always remember all the bad stuff in life and if my socks go missing long enough, I just buy new ones!  Oh and this whole memory loss thing did get me to write a book too so I would remember…You are welcome! See! Silver linings everywhere!

Win Win!

 

Living the Sleeve Life: Let’s talk about Lymphedema and Compression Devices

Living the Sleeve Life: Let’s talk about Lymphedema and Compression Devices

The not-so-glamorous sidekick that can occur as a part of a cancer diagnosis that nobody asked for, and to be honest, I didn’t even understand until I was told my breast cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. What I have learned is that up to 30% of all breast cancer patients will develop lymphedema.

Whether it’s an arm that feels you feel you’re Popeye and your muscles or trying to push through your arm or a leg with dreams of becoming a tree trunk, lymphedema can certainly keep life interesting. But before you get too bummed about it, let’s talk about the true hero of the lymphedema world: the compression sleeve.

Yep, I’m talking about those snug, stretchy sleeves that hold it all together. They’re not just accessories—they’re lifesavers.

What Even Is Lymphedema, Anyway?

Let’s back up for a moment and learn about lymphedema first.  Lymphedema is a condition where lymph fluid no longer circulates properly and throws a house party in your limbs. This happened to me in my right arm because of the cancer spreading to my nodes and having those nodes removed during surgery.

The result? Swelling, discomfort, and a crash course in patience quite frankly! It often shows up after surgery, radiation, or injury. That being said, it’s one you can learn to live with.

To live with lymphedema in my arm, I had to learn about compression sleeves: a tight, form-fitting garment designed to help move that fluid along. Think of it as a traffic cop for your lymphatic system, keeping things flowing in the right direction.  “Move along, nothing to see here!”

The Truth About Compression Sleeves

Let’s me explain—putting on a compression sleeve can feel like wrestling to put on a sports bra…. only on one arm. Some days, it’s a breeze. Other days, it’s a full-body workout. And once it’s on, there’s no mistaking the sensation: it’s like your arm is getting the world’s most awkward hug.

But that hug is your secret weapon. It reduces swelling, prevents pain, and keeps lymphedema from getting worse. Plus, I found a few companies that makes these sleeves with fun tattoo-like patterns, so I started coordinating my sleeve with my outfits. This is also a fun way to mess with family and friends who think I got a new tattoo but then the next time they see me it is different.  It sometimes takes them a long time to realize it is a sleeve.  And that is when I know I have won the ”Cool sleeve” Award.  That should really be a thing…just saying…

Tips for Rocking the Sleeve Life

  1. Get the Right Fit
    Compression sleeves are like jeans—if they don’t fit right, you’ll hate them. A trained fitter or therapist can measure your limb to make sure you get the right size for you.
  2. Ease Into It
    If you’re new to wearing a sleeve, start slow. Wear it for a few hours and work your way up. Your arm (or leg) needs time to adjust.
  3. Keep It Clean
    Hand-wash it regularly and let it air dry. They can start to smell if you don’t take care of them!
  4. Make It Fun
    Compression sleeves have come a long way from boring beige. At Juzo.com or Lymphedivas you can choose a floral print, or rock some stripes, or go full superhero with bright colors. If you have to wear one, you might as well have some fun with it!
  5. Remember It’s a Team Effort
    Compression sleeves work best when paired with other treatments like manual lymphatic drainage brushes or massage, exercise, lymphatic creams, and good skin care. Think of it as a holistic approach to keeping your lymph system happy and healthy (as it can be).

The truth is, the care for lymphedema doesn’t stop at compression sleeves but it is a good start! It also is not about just managing swelling—it’s about taking control of your health and finding ways to live fully, despite the challenges.

So, slip on that sleeve, own your unique style, and remember: you’re stronger than lymphedema ever bargained for! Ooh! and sometimes you may need a compression glove to move it out of your fingers like me!  They can compress EVERYTHING nowadays!

We got this!